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If you lost a young child...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 2 Replies
Would you give that child's first name to a new baby as a middle name? To "carry on" the child's older sibling?

I feel really bad, and I'm trying to be supportive...but this is what a friend is doing. She lost her 13 month old son last summer, and is now pregnant again. If it's a boy she wants to use her passed son's first name as the new baby's middle name.

I feel like it's putting too much pressure on the child before he's even here. He'll never have his "own" identity.

I LOVE the way she carries on his legacy in their daily life, but this is just something I feel weird about. I tried gently suggesting she think about other names, but she said it "feels" right.

I know ultimately it's her and her DH's decision, but what about the child?
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2014 at 11:08 PM
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elementalgirl
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 11:12 PM
hmmmm. i never looked at it that way, that is an interesting way to look at it. not saying wrong, just not a POV i thought of.

i had always thought about it as honoring the passed sibling.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 11:12 PM
I've considered that and I'm on the fence. On the one hand, my kids all have middle names honoring members of our families BUT that's much closer to home.

I think it's something you can't judge unless you've been there... I wouldn't fault her for that.
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