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Who do you think should get custody?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 26 Replies

The child:  Adorable 5 year old girl. She is currently living with her Godparents, but there are five people trying to get custody of her. Who do you think she should live with? (I'm just a friend of the little girl and former friend of her parents, I'm not trying to get custody of her but I care about where she goes. My opinion is she should stay where she's at, but I'm not the judge.) 

the contenders: 

Birth-Mum: currently homeless and staying in the garage of foreclosed house with 4 other people including her druggie boyfriend, his exwife and his 8 month old daughter from another relationship(his baby mama is in prison for selling drugs).She has several health problems including a heart problem but that doesn't stop her from using Ecstasy, coke, Oxy, and pot. Her neighbours have complained to the police about them living their so it's just a matter of days before they get kicked out or arrested(I assume). I really don't know California law that well when it comes to squatters. 

Maternal Grandmother: Recently "grieving" over the death of her boyfriend. She "accidentally" shot him while cleaning her gun. She lives out of state, in Texas and has already admitted that if she had custody she wouldn't let birth-dad see the little girl. She has a history of being abusive towards family members including her only daughter. And constantly makes threats to people she doesn't like claiming to have many contacts with the Mexican Mafia and once threatened me because I asked her not to be disrespectful to her daughter in my house. She was screaming at her daughter who was renting a room from me at the time, I asked her to lower her voice and show some respect when standing in my house, mainly so she doesn't wake up my children (it was 9pm) and this woman tells me, "I can have your throat slit in a New York minute." 

Birth-Dad:  Hasn't had a job in 11 years. The last job he had was working for a circus. That's how I met him, my father owns a circus. I got to travel with it across the US in the late 1990's as a supervisor when my father had cancer. I met BD when he came to visit the circus with some friends, he was drunk and got kicked out. He became belligerent, I called the police, once the police started talking to him I actually started to feel sorry for him so I offered him a job working the games. He worked for us for 5 years, it was the longest he'd worked anywhere and the most stable he'd ever been. During that time he wasn't drinking and he wasn't doing drugs. That's changed. He's just gotten out of prison for possession of LSD and crack-cocaine. He's currently living with me but i'm moving back to Canada in 7 months, i'm not sure where he's going to go after that. As of right now I really don't care, I no longer consider him a friend. 

Paternal Grandmother: Nice woman, former drug addict but has a really big heart. She loves her son and Granddaughter but she's got some major entitlement issues. She's never worked a day in her life, one of those cradle to the grave walfare types. She would be adequate in my view if it wasn't for the fact that her husband is a convicted child molester that raped 3 family members and had a years long consensual sexual relationship with his adult daughter the resulted in his birth granddaughter who the courts have banned him from seeing. He often makes creepy comments about how pretty his step-granddaughter is and how sexy she will be when she grows up and gets "tits".

Godparents: They are nice people, I call them friends. They have been in his little girl's life since the day she was born. They've paid for almost everything involving this little girl. when parents needed the birth certificate and couldn't afford it, the GP's paid for it, when she needed antibiotics but medi-cal wouldn't cover it, GP's paid for it. Christmas time they've always gotten her gifts and addressed them from her parents. Even now they've never said a bad thing about her parents or anyone else in front of this little girl. Instead they make sure Dad had presents addressed to her on her birthday even though he was in prison, they told her he was going to college to be a better dad instead of telling her he was in prison. They own a house, can provide a stable place for her, she has her own room. They have two children she plays with, they seem perfect but what seems to be isn't always what actually is. The Godfather is a functional alcoholic. The Godmother is bipolar with OCD. She screams at her birth children if their rooms are not clean and perfect and she screams at her husband if he leaves his slippers in the wrong place. Ive seen her happy one minute and crying the next. But she really seems to love that little girl. But there have been times in the best when Godmother has been so depressed she's tried to kill herself. 


I don't know who this little girl should be with. The Godparents are good people but they have issues. Though everyone has issues and you can't always blame people for what they've done in the past. 
What do you think?  

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 31, 2014 at 12:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 31, 2014 at 12:55 PM
I think out of all of them the godparents but I'd still look for someone else
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 31, 2014 at 12:56 PM
Where the hell is the grandparents for that 8 month? I just skimmed through your post. Does the 5 year old have other family members that have good influence on her like her dad her aunts unlces?
kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 12:59 PM
She should stay where she is. It sounds like the best fit. Moms a druggie, so she's out, dad's unstable, so he's out, maternal grandmother sounds abusive, and paternal grandmother can't even support herself, let alone someone else, so they're both out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 31, 2014 at 1:00 PM

Parental Gradmother was an only child and only had one bio-child, which is dad. Her exhusband (dad's bio father) is dead. 

The mother has two brothers one is in prison in Texas for murder, the other is in the Army and wants nothing to do with his niece or other family members. 

So there isn't anyone else. The only other option is foster care but who knows where she'd end up, possibly with worse people. 

As for the 8 month old I have no idea what the story is with that. 

Quoting Anonymous 3: Where the hell is the grandparents for that 8 month? I just skimmed through your post. Does the 5 year old have other family members that have good influence on her like her dad her aunts unlces?


Elle.tea.22
by Emerald Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 1:03 PM
Stay where she's at
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 31, 2014 at 1:04 PM
That's really sad. To bad you couldn't take her and have her live with you and dh n the kids.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Parental Gradmother was an only child and only had one bio-child, which is dad. Her exhusband (dad's bio father) is dead. 

The mother has two brothers one is in prison in Texas for murder, the other is in the Army and wants nothing to do with his niece or other family members. 

So there isn't anyone else. The only other option is foster care but who knows where she'd end up, possibly with worse people. 

As for the 8 month old I have no idea what the story is with that. 

Quoting Anonymous 3: Where the hell is the grandparents for that 8 month? I just skimmed through your post. Does the 5 year old have other family members that have good influence on her like her dad her aunts unlces?

MrsRA
by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 1:10 PM

It does sound like all of those options are questionable.

I guess out of those choices I"d say the god parents would be best. At least it's where the child already lives, she has some stability there. She's loved. No parent is perfect, so I guess you go with the lesser of all the evils. 

Not sure how cps will think though. 

AngryBob
by Ruby Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 1:15 PM


Quoting Anonymous 1:

The child:  Adorable 5 year old girl. She is currently living with her Godparents, but there are five people trying to get custody of her. Who do you think she should live with? (I'm just a friend of the little girl and former friend of her parents, I'm not trying to get custody of her but I care about where she goes. My opinion is she should stay where she's at, but I'm not the judge.) 

the contenders: 

Birth-Mum: currently homeless NO and staying in the garage of foreclosed house with 4 other people including her druggie boyfriend, his exwife and his 8 month old daughter from another relationship(his baby mama is in prison for selling drugs).She has several health problems including a heart problem but that doesn't stop her from using Ecstasy, coke, Oxy, and pot. Her neighbours have complained to the police about them living their so it's just a matter of days before they get kicked out or arrested(I assume). I really don't know California law that well when it comes to squatters. 

Maternal Grandmother: Recently "grieving" over the death of her boyfriend. She "accidentally" shot him while cleaning her gun. is this currently being investigated? what was the outcome if the investigation was closed? She lives out of state, in Texas probably a point against her, depending on the judge. judges generally don't like uprooting and drastically changing an already unsteady life for a child and has already admitted that if she had custody she wouldn't let birth-dad see the little girl might be a point against her, depending on the judge. some don't care. She has a history of being abusive towards family members including her only daughter unless this has been proven, this is heresay. And constantly makes threats to people she doesn't like claiming to have many contacts with the Mexican Mafia and once threatened me because I asked her not to be disrespectful to her daughter in my house unless this has been documented, it doesn't hold any weight. She was screaming at her daughter who was renting a room from me at the time, I asked her to lower her voice and show some respect when standing in my house, mainly so she doesn't wake up my children (it was 9pm) and this woman tells me, "I can have your throat slit in a New York minute." 

Birth-Dad:  Hasn't had a job in 11 years. if he can prove that he's actively looking for employment, that might not matter, depending on the judge.The last job he had was working for a circus. That's how I met him, my father owns a circus. I got to travel with it across the US in the late 1990's as a supervisor when my father had cancer. I met BD when he came to visit the circus with some friends, he was drunk and got kicked out. He became belligerent, I called the police, once the police started talking to him I actually started to feel sorry for him so I offered him a job working the games. He worked for us for 5 years, it was the longest he'd worked anywhere and the most stable he'd ever been. During that time he wasn't drinking and he wasn't doing drugs. That's changed. He's just gotten out of prison for possession of LSD and crack-cocaine. how recent? He's currently living with me but i'm moving back to Canada in 7 months, i'm not sure where he's going to go after that. As of right now I really don't care, I no longer consider him a friend.  judges really like placing kids with their bioparents at all costs, so since he has a stable roof over his head, and can show that he's at least trying, the judge might show leniency.

Paternal Grandmother: Nice woman, former drug addict but has a really big heart. She loves her son and Granddaughter but she's got some major entitlement issues. She's never worked a day in her life, one of those cradle to the grave walfare types. She would be adequate in my view if it wasn't for the fact that her husband is a convicted child molester NO that raped 3 family members and had a years long consensual sexual relationship with his adult daughter the resulted in his birth granddaughter who the courts have banned him from seeing. He often makes creepy comments about how pretty his step-granddaughter is and how sexy she will be when she grows up and gets "tits".

Godparents: They are nice people, I call them friends. They have been in his little girl's life since the day she was born if they can prove that, they have a huge advantage in court. They've paid for almost everything involving this little girl. when parents needed the birth certificate and couldn't afford it, the GP's paid for it, when she needed antibiotics but medi-cal wouldn't cover it, GP's paid for it. if they can prove that, also to their credit Christmas time they've always gotten her gifts and addressed them from her parents. Even now they've never said a bad thing about her parents or anyone else in front of this little girl. Instead they make sure Dad had presents addressed to her on her birthday even though he was in prison, they told her he was going to college to be a better dad instead of telling her he was in prison. They own a house, can provide a stable place for her, she has her own room. also good for their case They have two children she plays with, they seem perfect but what seems to be isn't always what actually is. The Godfather is a functional alcoholic. The Godmother is bipolar with OCD. She screams at her birth children if their rooms are not clean and perfect and she screams at her husband if he leaves his slippers in the wrong place. Ive seen her happy one minute and crying the next. But she really seems to love that little girl. But there have been times in the best when Godmother has been so depressed she's tried to kill herself. if that has been documented, they have zero chance


I don't know who this little girl should be with. The Godparents are good people but they have issues. Though everyone has issues and you can't always blame people for what they've done in the past. What do you think?  

from what i have seen from custody cases and my understanding of those laws, that is what the courts will be looking for.

macbudsmom
by Ruby Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 1:15 PM
They all sound like poor choices.... How sad she only has crappy people in her life.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 31, 2014 at 1:22 PM

CPS has been to their house and said everything was fine they don't seem to be worried about godmother's bipolar disorder because the last time she tried to kill herself was over 10 years ago. Still I worry. 

Quoting MrsRA:

It does sound like all of those options are questionable.

I guess out of those choices I"d say the god parents would be best. At least it's where the child already lives, she has some stability there. She's loved. No parent is perfect, so I guess you go with the lesser of all the evils. 

Not sure how cps will think though. 


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