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My husband started crying, and I have no idea how to handle this random depression?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies

at about 3am I woke up to my husband crying and hugging me. Now he has cried before but that was when both our kids were born... I asked him what was wrong and he said "I keep fucking up" I was like... ".. What do you mean... Did you cheat on me?" my heart sank but I've never known my husband to just break down in tears. This was like uncontrollable sobbing... He said no, and that he would never be that stupid. He was stressed because we've been struggling with our martgage payements the past couple months but once Januraury's bonus comes in and our paychecks go back to normal we should be perfectly fine... He also felt bad because in his sleep he full out punched me in the jaw... He had no idea he did that and my face was bruised, and my jaw still hurts... Plus we got into a fight our very first married fight and we've been married for 6 years... He felt guilty for that too...

This just didn't seem like my husband and I didn't know what to do.


Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 31, 2014 at 2:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Holland04
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 2:45 PM

At least he's talking to you about it. = ) 

got2monsters
by Ruby Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 2:46 PM
Just hug him and let him get it out I geuss. Maybe he just needs to have a little breakdown so he can regroup. My husband has those but he punches shit to vent his frustration. Or he rides his motorcycle...faster than he should. Lol.
tinybluemoon
by on Dec. 31, 2014 at 2:48 PM

Go buy him a cheeseburger and double fudge  and tell him to calm his tits.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 31, 2014 at 2:48 PM

Man, I really got worried. Now my husband doesn't have any female friends, he could if he wanted to but he's not a social guy... He maybe has 4 guy friends, and that even if he considers two of them real friends over jsut buddies.
But I didn't know why else my husband would cry like that... I thought for a moment, and I hate when people assume things but I felt backed into a corner of him cheating was the reason why... I was completely wrong.
I'm happy he's talking about it. (: I just kissed him till the tears stopped and reminded him of how amazing of a husband and father he is. 

Quoting Holland04:

At least he's talking to you about it. = ) 


maureen813
by Emerald Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 2:50 PM

I am hoping this would be helpful to you. I am a clinical therapist, I work with children and families although your husband's issues seem to be very common with people feelings high levels of stress, even the punching in his sleep ( we call it sleep disturbance) can be a sign that he is struggling internally. Money worries are a huge source of stress and especially for a man as he may see himself as the primary bread winner and provider for his wife and children and any sign that he is not able to fulfill this role can threaten his sense of competency and identity. I think encouraging him to share his feelings, offering support and making it safe for him to be vulnerable would likely be very helpful.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 31, 2014 at 2:51 PM

Stress will do many, many things to a person just talk to him if he's willing.

deepfryerdemons
by on Dec. 31, 2014 at 2:52 PM
You did a good job, o wish my husband would do what you did when I tell him I'm depressed. He just gets irritated.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Man, I really got worried. Now my husband doesn't have any female friends, he could if he wanted to but he's not a social guy... He maybe has 4 guy friends, and that even if he considers two of them real friends over jsut buddies.But I didn't know why else my husband would cry like that... I thought for a moment, and I hate when people assume things but I felt backed into a corner of him cheating was the reason why... I was completely wrong. I'm happy he's talking about it. (: I just kissed him till the tears stopped and reminded him of how amazing of a husband and father he is. 

Quoting Holland04:

At least he's talking to you about it. = ) 

ekerazy78
by Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 2:54 PM
Men have a desire to provide for their families. When men don't feel like they are providing enough for their families it makes them feel inadequate. Remind him that the 2 of you will get through this together. He feels like being the provider of the family is all on him because as a man it is what society teaches is the mans job to provide for the family and the woman's job to nurture the family. Understand his feelings and support him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 31, 2014 at 2:55 PM

Thanks. I just let him cry... Talked to him.
I am a stay at home mom so all the money is on him.
our last two months paychecks have been short to the company messing up payroll we'll get that money in January's pay but it still made things rough for us now. 

Quoting maureen813:

I am hoping this would be helpful to you. I am a clinical therapist, I work with children and families although your husband's issues seem to be very common with people feelings high levels of stress, even the punching in his sleep ( we call it sleep disturbance) can be a sign that he is struggling internally. Money worries are a huge source of stress and especially for a man as he may see himself as the primary bread winner and provider for his wife and children and any sign that he is not able to fulfill this role can threaten his sense of competency and identity. I think encouraging him to share his feelings, offering support and making it safe for him to be vulnerable would likely be very helpful.


two4one
by Ruby Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 2:57 PM

Just comfort and encourage him. Be there to listen to him.  It may help for him to talk to a therapist too. Keep reminding him that there will always, ALWAYS, be highs and lows in life and as long as the two of you stick together, you can get through it. Take it from someone who knows.

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