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Why are my feelings not valid?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

DH and I have been TTC for years.  I finally have a dr. who is taking me seriously about this issue, and I was sent to a fertility specialist/endocrinologist.  They have discovered that I have PCOS.  The extra thick lining of my uterus could lead to our hereditary uterine cancer and problems conceiving.

 I've been put on Metformin, and I've changed my diet and exercise routine.  I am heartbroken, because I know it is becoming more difficult to have children with this, and I'm upset over the diagnosis.  

He already has one child, who we see EOWE, from a hateful and spiteful person.  I'm embarassed that I'm unable to give him a family like we both want at the moment, and I'm trying to deal with my emotions through this.  I have family very far away who I love dearly, but my mom called and told them about what I am dealing with and that I'm having surgery later this month.

 I have to have a hysteroscopy, basically being put to sleep, having my uterus scraped out, and have a camera inserted to find out what else is going on.  I don't know why, but I'm beyond embarassed about having this in the first place, much less having all of my family knowing about it and having to explain it to my grandfather!  :(  

I hate that I feel this way about it, and maybe I'll feel differently as I become used to the diagnosis, etc., but it is so fresh and painful that I really didn't want to explain it to my whole family.  I just wanted to deal with it and keep trying.  

Please don't bash me for the way I feel, and yes, I realize this is on a public forum, but I'm going anonymous and am talking to other moms here!  :)  Did anyone else with PCOS feel like I do?  

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 31, 2014 at 4:09 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 31, 2014 at 4:13 PM
First of all many people need assistance in reproducing. After ttc for two years we found out IVF was our only option due to my dh's low sperm count. I also had to have a myomectomy (fibroid removed).

I told who I wanted and didn't tell others. My inlaws no nothing about the above. We are now 18 weeks pregnant and due in May.

My point is, do what needs to be done and don't worry about telling everyone the details. Why does your grandfather need to know?
AngryBob
by Ruby Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 4:19 PM
1 mom liked this

your family lives far away. you don't have to see any of them face to face.

if any of them call to laugh at you, simply hang up. or don't answer the phone.

if your grandfather calls to ask about details, refer him to your mother, since she likes to gossip.

and never tell anything to your mother again that you don't mind being aired out in front of everyone. she might not have known that this was embarrassing to you.

it sounds like you're projecting your insecurities about conceiving about this, though. you act like people are pointing and laughing at you. it's just a uterus. you'll be fine.

good luck on conceiving, though! my brother and his wife tried for four years, no luck. they finally got pregnant after they stopped worrying about it so much. with twins! so it can happen, and i hope it happens for you!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 31, 2014 at 4:21 PM

My mother already told him, and he wants to know what's going on and when, etc.  I have a very close relationship with my family, but this crosses a line I'm not ready to yet.  Mom's upset with me, because I didn't want anyone else to know about it, and she told him.  I'm not mad, I'm just a little hurt that she keeps saying it's not a big deal when it feels like it to me and keeps pushing me to call him and tell him about it.  

Quoting Anonymous 2: First of all many people need assistance in reproducing. After ttc for two years we found out IVF was our only option due to my dh's low sperm count. I also had to have a myomectomy (fibroid removed). I told who I wanted and didn't tell others. My inlaws no nothing about the above. We are now 18 weeks pregnant and due in May. My point is, do what needs to be done and don't worry about telling everyone the details. Why does your grandfather need to know?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 31, 2014 at 4:22 PM

PCOS isn't the lining.. it has to do with cysts usually on your ovaries

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 31, 2014 at 4:24 PM

Thanks!  I know it's my problem and my insecurities, but it is still frustrating.  :)  I know she didn't do it on purpose or to hurt me, but it's embarassing and new to me.  They would never laugh at me, but I am a pretty private person most of the time, and this is too exposed for me if that makes sense.  

Quoting AngryBob:

your family lives far away. you don't have to see any of them face to face.

if any of them call to laugh at you, simply hang up. or don't answer the phone.

if your grandfather calls to ask about details, refer him to your mother, since she likes to gossip.

and never tell anything to your mother again that you don't mind being aired out in front of everyone. she might not have known that this was embarrassing to you.

it sounds like you're projecting your insecurities about conceiving about this, though. you act like people are pointing and laughing at you. it's just a uterus. you'll be fine.

good luck on conceiving, though! my brother and his wife tried for four years, no luck. they finally got pregnant after they stopped worrying about it so much. with twins! so it can happen, and i hope it happens for you!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 31, 2014 at 4:29 PM

Yes, I know.  I don't have periods due to the PCOS, and the lining has built up in my uterus.  My mom and grandma had uterine cancer, and this lining could build up to cause it as well.  They are going to get rid of the lining, and use a camera to look at my ovaries and discuss further treatment.  They want a better look at my ovaries and are concerned I have polyps as well and will remove those during surgery.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

PCOS isn't the lining.. it has to do with cysts usually on your ovaries


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 31, 2014 at 4:30 PM

there is a pcos site.. ummm i believe it is soulcysters.net

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Yes, I know.  I don't have periods due to the PCOS, and the lining has built up in my uterus.  My mom and grandma had uterine cancer, and this lining could build up to cause it as well.  They are going to get rid of the lining, and use a camera to look at my ovaries and discuss further treatment.  They want a better look at my ovaries and are concerned I have polyps as well and will remove those during surgery.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

PCOS isn't the lining.. it has to do with cysts usually on your ovaries



AngryBob
by Ruby Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 4:31 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Anonymous 1:

Thanks!  I know it's my problem and my insecurities, but it is still frustrating.  :)  I know she didn't do it on purpose or to hurt me, but it's embarassing and new to me.  They would never laugh at me, but I am a pretty private person most of the time, and this is too exposed for me if that makes sense.  

Quoting AngryBob:


then it sounds like she didn't realize she was embarrassing you.

just take it as, you have a family that loves you very much, and wants the best for you. and yes, they can love and cherish you without sticking their noses all up in your lady bits, but hey, silver lining, right?

;)

ejkdmom
by Platinum Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 4:35 PM
1 mom liked this

You are entitled to your feelings.  There are groups out there that can help you; online and in person.  I suggest that you find one of those.  They have been through this and they can certainly help you work through your issues with your family.

Good Luck.

AngelSinger
by MS Warrior on Dec. 31, 2014 at 4:38 PM
((Hugs))

Prayers sent!
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