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I didn't sign up to be the parent of a special needs kid!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 355 Replies
6 moms liked this
But at the same time, I did. I love my 5 year old son, don't get me wrong, I'd do anything for him. But some days I dream about sneaking out in the middle of the night, hopping a Greyhound, and riding until I feel like getting off.
I couldn't ever do it though, but it's nice to dream about.

No one warned me that I'd have a child with severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, anxiety, and horrible, violent tendancies.
We've done all the therapies, the parenting classes, the discipline tacticts, etc. Nothing helps. Now we're looking at medication as a last resort.
The police have been out 3 times this month because the new neighbors think he is being abused. CPS was called twice. We have all the proper documentation and videos of his meltdowns to show them so the cases are open and shut, but it's still annoying to deal with, and to get the judgmental glares from the neighbors every day.

I can't even bring my son out in public anymore, he got kicked out of preschool, grocery trips are pure hell, and no one wants to babysit because he punches everyone and threatens to kill them.

I'm just at my wits end. I haven't showered in almost a week because I can't leave him alone, and DH works such long hours, I'm asleep before he gets home from work. Our older two kids are suffering because of DS as well, and it's not fair to anyone. DD8 came home from school before break started, crying because the school counselor was asking about her black eye that DS gave her, asking her if we hit her. She said she felt like the counselor was trying to force her to say something that wasn't true, so now I have to deal with that too. DS7 doesn't even want to be around anyone anymore, says we only care about DS5, despite the fact that we make a point to set aside time for each kid individually each day, so neither of the older kids feel unwanted.

Today I don't want to be a mom. Today I hate being a mom. I love my kids, but I really hate being a mother. I wish I could just disappear.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 31, 2014 at 5:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 31, 2014 at 5:29 PM
11 moms liked this

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 31, 2014 at 5:30 PM
6 moms liked this
Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 31, 2014 at 5:30 PM
1 mom liked this
?

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Malissa1578
by Platinum Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 5:31 PM
7 moms liked this

I wish I could say I understand. While I have SN nephews and SN cousins and etc, I do't have any of my own. I do know that it can be a struggle and I take my hat off to you for the strength you have. 

holyhoola
by on Dec. 31, 2014 at 5:32 PM
13 moms liked this
Have you researched respite care in your area?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 31, 2014 at 5:33 PM
12 moms liked this
Honest question and I promise I'm not trying to be ugly, but why isn't he already on medication? I'm not one to jump on the pill bandwagon but it seems like in your sons case it needs to be done.
MilkLover0203
by on Dec. 31, 2014 at 5:33 PM
9 moms liked this
I'm so unbelievably sorry that you're feeling this way. I'd almost feel like putting him in a residential where he can get the treatment he needs without hurting himself or someone else is the best idea for the time being. If there was no other children involved, I wouldn't even suggest that, but your daughter got a black eye from him? They have to be miserable.
Bennett121
by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 5:33 PM
5 moms liked this
Look into respite care. There are schools for sn. If you dont do it now your whole family structure could crumble beneath you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 31, 2014 at 5:34 PM
1 mom liked this
I have, they all start at age 6 for his issues.

Quoting holyhoola: Have you researched respite care in your area?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 31, 2014 at 5:34 PM
3 moms liked this
I have a sn son who is now 9. I remember the days like you've described...though a little different.

I still have my moments but things are much better with time.

Don't give up on him. He doesn't really understand what's happening.
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