Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you demand an Official investigation? UPDATE

Posted by on Dec. 31, 2014 at 6:40 PM
  • 71 Replies

I'm going to keep this as short as possible while offering as much information as I can.

My daughter (9) is autistic. After a really bad transition in public school at the beginning of the school year I started searching for other schools. I found a private school for girls. I was very open and honest with them about my daughter's issues and what her IEP says. I verified they had at least one person on staff that was certified to deal with her if she had an outburst. The principal stated she had her PCM certification (professional crisis management). I wound up transferring all 3 of my eldest daughters.

While my daughter was there she apparently had 6 incidences. I was informed of 2. Here in FL (not sure about other places) every time there is an incident a report has to be filled out (incident report) and sent home for the parent to review, sign, and send back, I never received one. I called an IEP meeting to discuss her placement as I felt like I may have made the wrong decision (this was about a month ago) in placing her at that school. During that meeting I found out that she had had 6 incidences (not the 2 I was informed of). I also found out that the 'teacher' that had called me about her the 2 times and made snide and rude remarks was also their special education teacher. At that point I chose to pull her out and homeschool her until I can find a better placement.


Today I was talking to my daughter's mental health therapist (she has many therapists which is why I specified mental health) and was informed that the principal claimed a few weeks ago that my daughter caused a lot of bruising on her upper arm during a restraint. I was taken off guard when I was told because nothing of the sort had ever been mentioned to me, nor were there any incident reports about it. I was also confused.

A child my daughter's size should be restrained in the prone position (I hate that position but its the safest way for all parties involved). How did the principal get bruising on her upper arms if she were restraining her properly? 

That left me with 2 conclusions: 

Either the principal lied

or

She wasn't restraining my daughter properly.

The other thing that seemed strange to me was that my daughter did anything hard enough to bruise. The only time she has ever left a bruise on me was when she was younger (and I used the basket hold). She threw her head back and got me in the cheekbone.

So, I spoke to my daughter and asked her to show me how the principal restrained her. She demonstrated on her younger sister by going behind her, wrapping her arms around her midsection, and squeezing. I asked her if the principal held her arms too. She said no, just her tummy. Then she told me that one time she threw up because the principal squeezed too hard (something that was witnessed by my 10 year old).

So, now I'm faced with multiple things that are very questionable.

Why were there no actual incident reports made for any of my daughter's 6 supposed incidences?

If my daughter left bruises on the principal then why was no one but my daughter's therapist informed?

If the principal truly is PCM certified why was no state approved restraint used?

I am now left feeling like I should confront the principal and potentially take my other 2 daughters out of that school. 

IEP momma's, are these things something you would demand an investigation over? Should I leave it alone? Please give me some advice.

Update 1/15

I called the principal to, first and foremost, find out if she actually has her PCM (Professional Crisis Management) certification. My first concern was why she "restrained" my daughter inappropriately. After giving the principal an entire week to produce it, she began refusing my calls. I told her that I'd be filing my complaint today so if I didn't hear from her today I was going to assume she didn't have certification. I contacted the president of the board today. I expressed all of my concerns; the violation of federal laws and my daughter's personal safety. I told her my primary concern was whether or not the principal was certified to go hands-on with my daughter. She asked me to give her until Tuesday to find out if the principal has her certification and, if she does, she'll email a copy of it to me.

The certification is very important to me because if she doesn't have it then not only should she have not touched my daughter, but my daughter shouldn't have ever been enrolled in that school. I've decided if that woman is not certified I'll be filing criminal charges against her. What she did was battery. If she is indeed certified then I'll chalk it up to not being able to apply her training in real life circumstances but if she's not certified then it's a whole different story. Regardless, I expect there to be consequences for her actions but that certification really is going to dictate how severe the consequences I push for will be.

by on Dec. 31, 2014 at 6:40 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
MilkLover0203
by on Dec. 31, 2014 at 6:52 PM
2 moms liked this
I'd certainly demand an investigation so nobody else has to endure what happened in your situation. Those measures are taken to ensure everyone's safety, including the child. I hope someone has better advice.
boys2men2soon
by Platinum Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 6:54 PM

I would be asking the Principle some questions!  

cdb7519
by Silver Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 6:56 PM

I would also demand an investigation.  Good luck

mamilola
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 6:59 PM

I had an incident with a 2nd grade teacher hitting my child many years ago.  I pulled him out and homeschooled.  I also contacted the principal and other county school personnel.  Unfortunately his claim could not be proven and the "case" went no where.  Luckily, the teacher retired after that year.  What a coincidence.

Anyways, I'm sorry this happened.  I would definitely escalate the issue.  I hope you have been luck than we did.

eadyT
by on Dec. 31, 2014 at 7:02 PM
Investigation. My sn's cousin died because of staff like that.
AnnaNonamus
by Spanky Pants :) on Dec. 31, 2014 at 7:08 PM

I feel for you. I have a daughter who is 13 with Autism, and school is a constant struggle. 

That said, while there are a lot of rules pertaining to public schools that accept federal funding, the rules are not always the same with private schools. Quite often, private schools (especially strict ones) can be worse on our kids. 

I would ask for a meeting with the principal, and i would also consider talking to a lawyer, because regardless of laws, the principal was extremely wrong in how she handled your daughter (or rather, manhandled). 

I would also advise you to talk to a local advocates group about school recommendations, and about what to ask for and expect when you are going through the IEP process at the next school. 

Unfortunately, even though public schools are required to follow federal laws, many pin the hope of uninformed parents to avoid covering the cost of providing costly therapy and accomodations. 

Jblb
by Emerald Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 7:13 PM
I would investigate further. Can you go to the board?
mom2many747
by Momma Duck on Dec. 31, 2014 at 7:15 PM

Yes and I'm going to. I'm just not sure if I want to speak to the principal first and allow her an opportunity to explain herself.

Quoting Jblb: I would investigate further. Can you go to the board?


Jblb
by Emerald Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 7:18 PM
Haven't you already done that? I mean, you've pulled your kid. This information is coming out after the fact? I would go straight to the board.

Quoting mom2many747:

Yes and I'm going to. I'm just not sure if I want to speak to the principal first and allow her an opportunity to explain herself.

Quoting Jblb: I would investigate further. Can you go to the board?

JalynSpoon
by CajunTarHeel on Dec. 31, 2014 at 7:18 PM

Demand! Demand! Demand! You need to know what the hell happened.. Poor baby. Prayers for you all!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)