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Am I wrong?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies
Heres the story - please help! I was making a decision to a) Make a repair to my car, or b) buy a new car.

My best friend (mom of 3) was at my house when my husband and I were going over our options. She made a suggestion - she would like to buy my car. Her home life is a bit of a mess. Shes a stay at home mom & She's got one of those husbands that cheats, uses cocaine, gives her a very low weekly amount of money to live off, pay bills, get groceries etc. (Her husband makes decent money, and they live with her parents and pay only $400.00/mnth rent too!) She explained that she wouldnt be able to get a car any other way because of her credit issues. I reiterated AGAIN that the check engine light is on and im not sure whats wrong with it. So I suggested if this is really what she wants to do, she can take the car to get looked at by a mechanic so she can make a more informed decision by making sure theres nothing major wrong with it. I gave her the keys that moment, and she took the car to a mechanic friend that lives on her street. She came back, said he hooked it up to some scanner thing, and she's good to go. She was really excited to have her first car. I asked her if shes sure, and suggested she talk with her husband or parents maybe first. She didnt want to. She scrounged up a cpl hundred bucks as a downpayment, (sold some of her jewlerry) and I made her a deal since shes in such a rotten situation - she could pay me $200.00/month, no interest until she pays it off. My husband is an accountant (a numbers guy!) and wasnt exactly thrilled with the deal, but supports me when it comes to helping her. She had a few repairs done (actually by my ex husband, who is a mechanic) and started driving the car. 6 months later she came to me and said something is wrong with car, it will cost $800.00 and she doesnt think she should have to pay me for the car anymore. Woah - What?!? That moment I knew I made a mistake. She also said I charged her too much. As nice as I could, I explained that I'm really sorry she's in that situation, but 6 months has gone by, and If i could help her I would in a heartbeat but I just cant afford to help her THAT much financially. I gave her the opportunity from the very beginning to get the car checked out. Plus its not unusual to have to make repairs to used cars at some point. But of course, I felt bad and offered to help her further. I took $800.00 off the total oweing, (i took her word for it too, never saw a quote), and lowered the payments to $100.00/mnth. She said she cant believe Im doing this to her but she continued with the payments. Since her husband wouldnt help her with the repair, she took the car to one of those scam artist car dealers who charge 20% interest and give any Tom, Dick & Harry a car, who gave her $200.00 for the car to put towards a new (used still) one. Again, I feel terrible that she was scammed by them but at some point shes gotta take responsibility for her choices. She just came to me again, and said she has to chose from feeding her children, or paying her loan. Its a known fact that her husband puts all his income up his nose instead of his babies bellies, and I think its a really ugly finger to point at me. I did all I could to help her. Im starting to think this is just the way she operates. She told me her brother gave her a loan for school, and when he started asking for her to pay it off she said she cant believe hes asking and that she doesnt think she should have to pay him back because him and his wife do well for themselves. Really?!?! It ended with her deleting me off facebook, and telling me im a horrible friend. Am I wrong?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MooseMomma
by Platinum Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:47 AM
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The only thing you did wrong was to not have a written contract detailing the sale and the payment arrangements.
kee1006b
by Gold Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:49 AM
1 mom liked this

No, but that is why you don't have friends or family make payments or loan them money

Bella_x3
by Silver Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:49 AM
1 mom liked this
I think you have bent over backwards being as nice as possible and helpful. You have two options here. One, if you can can at all financially afford to drop the loan and just forget the mess, do it. You won't like it, but you will feel better about it I bet. It won't be on you anymore. And you can be done with it all. Or two, if you absolutely cannot, you will have to take her to small claims court with any paperwork you had her sign for the loan. Hopefully you did. That is a sucky/long process. Good luck in whatever you choose.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:49 AM
1 mom liked this
You were wrong to sell the car to a friend it's never a good idea. It sounds like you really tried to help her. If she was driving the car for 6 months it's not your responsibility to make repairs or take money off of the price of the car.

IMO you went above and beyond trying to help her and it sounds like she's taking advantage of you.
caustinb
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:51 AM
1 mom liked this
You shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry you lost a friend. Someday, when the husband thing falls through, she will probably be back if you'll have her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:52 AM
1 mom liked this

This person is not your friend.  She is a person who has been abusing your kindness and generosity.  You should have listened to your DH way back in the beginning.  Gather all documents, emails, texts, whatever and take her to court.

strictmomhere
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:53 AM
1 mom liked this
I do not blame you!
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disneymom2two
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:53 AM
1 mom liked this

You should have gotten a written contract.  Since you didn't, there's really nothing you can do except let it go and don't consider her a friend any longer.  She's going to have a very sad life burning bridges along the way.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:57 AM
1 mom liked this
When people like that walk out of your life, let them go. Lesson learned.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:58 AM
1 mom liked this

No you're not wrong, but you know her so you should have known this was going to happen. Well at least her trying to get out of paying you.

She's not your friend, let it go and find a new friend. She will always take advantage of you if you continue with the friendship.

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