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Drug dependencies in partner

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 2 Replies

  I don't know what to do anymore. 

  I don't know if it's clicking for him and I don't know how to respond when someone literally refuses to see drugs as a problem.

  Oh, for the sake of dropping the issue he 'gets it'. He seems to get it...theoretically...but then when I catch him on a bar...he always drops dead and plays victim.

I just found out about [the drugs] 2 months ago...and about 2 weeks ago...find out I'm pregnant.

And now I'm more stressed than I should be! I want this child, If it comes down to it, I'll be a single mom for it...if he won't walk away...but for our future child's sake,  I am not going to give up without a fight. Which is pretty problematic because my child shouldn't have to be a victim to maternal stress while in the womb. 

It's either that though...or let my child be fatherless instead of fighting for his/her sake...or just let it live raised by an SO who is blinded by drugs.

I feel like fighting his addiction is the highest option...and I honestly don't think he's too far gone...but I know that it's going to be hard...I have NO idea how to tackle it successfully right now.  

 It's 'only' bars and pot...and I say that as opposed to...say...opiates, pain killers, and other 'hard drugs'. 

The main obstacle is that he has a psychological dependency. He absorbs nothing about what I say about him not needing it. He always cites stress and while he'll acknowledge not being the only one with stress...he'll only ever promise to quit 'soon', 'very soon', 'eventually'...he's living this 'one more time' mindset...he can't seem to commit to not feeling it ever again. Half of him seems to acknowledge that it's a problem and that he doesn't need it in his life...but there's a very stubborn part of him that keeps relapsing into needing it. 


I'm trying to work on his self esteem and help him understand he's capable without it and that he CAN do it...etc...

Has anyone had experience helping a partner kick a habit like this? 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:17 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:22 AM

BUMP 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:22 AM
My ex husband and I are addicts when I got pregnant. I sobered up very quickly. I told him he could sober up to be with us or leaving to continue life as he was. It took a few months but when HE was READY he got sober. That was 12 years ago & we are both still sober. Sorry mama but you can't make him get sober, he has to choose it for himself.
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