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Fear of commitment or...?

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 5:17 PM
  • 2 Replies
I thought I had this crippling fear of commitment until I started dating my boyfriend. I would date men and as soon as they would start saying sweet things, pushing to spend extra time with me, etc, I would shut down. I'd immediately start looking for a way out of the relationship and it would be over in a matter of weeks.
It's just different with my bf now. It just feels right with him and its so foreign to me. If you previously had a fear of commitment did it change when you met your SO?
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 5:17 PM
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annezeiler
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 5:25 PM

I had a huge fear of commitment after my divorce.  I did exactly the same as you (went out with guys, told them I just wanted to keep it casual, pushed them away at the first sign of them getting attached)...  I even went on a date with my now SO!!   I ultimately determined I just wasn't ready for dating.  He continued to ask me out about once a month for the next 1.5 years (yes, he's persistent, lol)... ultimately I felt ready to try again, and we fell in love on our second "first date."  It changed immediately that night for me.  I even had the guy I'd gone out with once before write on FB "WTH?  You said you weren't ready for a relationship!!" when I changed my relationship status, lol. 

We've been together three years now... but he promises to never let me live down making him wait that long.  I'm okay with that, too.  :)

o.O....
by Cara on Jan. 6, 2015 at 5:32 PM
1 mom liked this
I actually met my bf in high school. He was always kind of "that guy" but we never actually dated. So when we reconnected I was really worried that what we were feeling was just nostalgia, but it isn't at all. I actually told someone that I just wasn't ready to date about two weeks before my bf and I started talking again, and the other guy was really irritated when he found out...

Quoting annezeiler:

I had a huge fear of commitment after my divorce.  I did exactly the same as you (went out with guys, told them I just wanted to keep it casual, pushed them away at the first sign of them getting attached)...  I even went on a date with my now SO!!   I ultimately determined I just wasn't ready for dating.  He continued to ask me out about once a month for the next 1.5 years (yes, he's persistent, lol)... ultimately I felt ready to try again, and we fell in love on our second "first date."  It changed immediately that night for me.  I even had the guy I'd gone out with once before write on FB "WTH?  You said you weren't ready for a relationship!!" when I changed my relationship status, lol. 


We've been together three years now... but he promises to never let me live down making him wait that long.  I'm okay with that, too.  :)

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