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If your daughters friend is a troublemaker..

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 5:17 PM
  • 7 Replies
So my 9 year old daughter has a friend who is not very nice, tells on people all the time, and has zero manners. She is constantly causing problems among my daughter and her friends and she lies and gets her friends in trouble all the time. Yesterday there was an incident where she basically said my daughter is "fat." Obviously we cannot control what this girl says but I told my daughter you have to be stronger and just not let it phase you because there are so many cruel people out there. Now my question here is what would you do if you were in my shoes? Talk to her mom about this? Talk to the child? Thoughts? Thanks in advance
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 5:17 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Jan. 6, 2015 at 5:20 PM
1 mom liked this
I think 9yo is old enough to work this out amongst themselves. I would talk to DD about sticking up for herself and how a REAL friend behaves. I wouldn't tattle and bring in the other girl's mom.
CountryStrong84
by Gold Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 5:22 PM
Unless it escalated to the point to where your daughter is seriously suffering, I would suggest to her that she distance herself from this friend. I've dealt with something similar (mine is 6) Amd I really wanted to give that kid and her mother a piece of my mind. But I ended up just telling my daughter to ignore her and to not be her friend if she couldn't be nice. Seems to be working so far. Good luck!
Bluerose1482
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 5:28 PM

My dd is 9.  If she were in this situation, I would just talk with her about what kinds of things she should look for in a friend and what kinds of things she should avoid.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 6, 2015 at 5:37 PM
I would use this as a lesson about cutting toxic people out of her life and choosing her friends wisely. I wouldn't say a word to mom or the girl nor would I allow any more play dates between them for awhile.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:21 PM

My dd had a friend like that. I put an end to the friendship. I stopped taking dd over to her house , I stopped letting the girl come to our house. While they still saw each other at school & other friends houses. Years later ( dd is in high school) dd see's this girl for who she is and a lot of dd friends don't like this girl either. DD is thankful I put an end to the friendship now, she wasn't so happy about it back then.

Howardx5
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:32 PM

i dont deal with peoples kids outside of my own home or presense. if a child acted out or was rude to anyone in front of me or while in my care ill address the kid (if mom/dad isnt around or if the behavior puts someone else at risk regardless of mom/dad being around). if it is still a problem ill address the parents in a "i think the kids need space and this is why" approach. from there the parents can chose how to handle it. and id keep reminding my child why ive chose to put some distance between them and why its not okay to be mean or whatever the case may be

Howardx5
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:36 PM


Quoting Howardx5:

i dont deal with peoples kids outside of my own home or presense. if a child acted out or was rude to anyone in front of me or while in my care ill address the kid (if mom/dad isnt around or if the behavior puts someone else at risk regardless of mom/dad being around). if it is still a problem ill address the parents in a "i think the kids need space and this is why" approach. from there the parents can chose how to handle it. and id keep reminding my child why ive chose to put some distance between them and why its not okay to be mean or whatever the case may be

just adding that this is what id do if the girls were staying the night with each other or spending a lot of time at our home. if its just a general mean kid id tell DD to get some thicker skin and find a better friend with qualities she agrees with. 

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