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Things you wish you were taught earlier...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
I wish my mom would of taught me that you shouldnt rely on people to make you happy and My mom always made me feel like having family and friends/people you love is how you get happiness. Now that im alone its harder for me to be happy with myself. I wish i wouldve learned earlier that happiness starts with yourself and not to rely on others for it.

What do you wish you were taught young?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Isaacsmom913
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:35 PM
1 mom liked this

Finances.  My hubby and I were in our early 20's when we got married and had ZERO clue how credit could help and hurt you.  We had no idea about interest rates, what a good rate of pay vs cost of living etc.  I don't blame them for the mistakes we made, hubby and I did that ourselves, but had we had a better primer things may have been easier financially for us starting out.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:37 PM
That marriage isn't as easy as they made it seem. They work so well together I was honestly baffled when we had our first argument. I didn't know married people fought.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:38 PM
I totally agree! And how children change marriage so much and makes it so much harder.

Quoting Anonymous 2: That marriage isn't as easy as they made it seem. They work so well together I was honestly baffled when we had our first argument. I didn't know married people fought.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:41 PM
My mom is more open now that we are older and she will talk about their disagreements a little but I honestly grew up thinking that marriage would always be easy and run smoothly.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I totally agree! And how children change marriage so much and makes it so much harder.

Quoting Anonymous 2: That marriage isn't as easy as they made it seem. They work so well together I was honestly baffled when we had our first argument. I didn't know married people fought.
Emycf
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:44 PM
Real, grown up finances, not just how to shop for clothes. How to establish and maintain good credit and why that is so important, how to save, etc.

I wish my mom had modeled better self esteem and taught me to have good self esteem. Not sure that is really something that can be "taught" though.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes! Finances is such a huge part of life. I wish somebody told me more about it. Everybody made it seem like it was all so simple. Once i moved out i can tell you had a huge surprise. It was very stressful

Quoting Isaacsmom913:

Finances.  My hubby and I were in our early 20's when we got married and had ZERO clue how credit could help and hurt you.  We had no idea about interest rates, what a good rate of pay vs cost of living etc.  I don't blame them for the mistakes we made, hubby and I did that ourselves, but had we had a better primer things may have been easier financially for us starting out.

Rangermom772
by Platinum Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:46 PM

Money! 

-Copper-
by Bronze Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:46 PM

That it's okay to ask for help, to need others, and to step back and take what you need.

My parents were the type that seeking help or being helped in any way was weakness and infringed upon the all-important independence. That needing anyone was weak. That allowing anyone into my pain or private feelings was weak. That giving up on anything - even if it was killing me and hurting others around me - was not an option and was lazy, weak, and unacceptable.

Now this was never outright stated. It was just encouraged subtly, and more disturbingly, in a way that's commonly encouraged for parents to treat their kids in our culture. "Don't cry about something stupid like that. You don't have anything to cry about. I'll give you something to cry about."
"Be a good girl. Big girls don't cry. Don't be a whiner. Don't be a baby, suck it up, your friends don't need to know about your problems."
"You have nothing to be anxious about. Get over it."
"We paid for you to play soccer, you're not going to quit. Only losers quit. Don't be lazy. I don't care if you're miserable or your legs hurt. You're still walking, it's not that bad."

All that kind of stuff.

I could have been spared a lot of pain and a lot of therapy that it took to let go of my obsession with something if I'd been taught that my feelings or health mattered at all, or that it didn't make me weak to ask for help when I was in a spiral, or that it was okay to give up things that hurt me.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:47 PM
That it's okay to wait to have sex.
svolkov
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 7:47 PM
Breastfeeding. Wish I would have seen tha5/been exposed growing up. Was super hard being clueless. Definitely finances too. Never went over ant of that
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