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A complete stranger bought us dinner....and I'm an ungrateful bi*** :/

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 27 Replies

I was in the mood for a Costco dog, so I packed up all the kids and away we went. I feel weird going just for the hot dogs, so we browsed up and down the aisles for a bit. Grabbed a case of hard cider, several bottles of wine, and some junk food for the kids.

When we were done we went to the food court. There was an elderly woman up next to the register, but I didn't even notice her 'till she swooped in and paid for our food. At first I was confused, and then I felt myself go red as soon as I realized what was going on. Then she turned to all 5 of my kids and gave them each a dollar, and then handed me the rest of the money in her hand. I think I had a look of shock and horror on my face, since I failed miserably at trying to smile. It's not uncommon for people to assume we're low income, since I have no sense of fashion, and have 5 kids. It was all a blur. I'm pretty sure I said thank you more than once, but stupid me also asked her why. There was a language barrier, so thankfully I'm pretty sure she didn't understand me. The whole thing was just awkward and uncomfortable.

So after getting home and eating my hot dog and drinking some hard cider I was thinking more about it. If I wanted to do an RAOK for someone I thought was poor, I wouldn't do it for someone who had a cart full of alcohol and junk food, y'know? Then I thought more about how she sounded. YDS (in preschool) is best friends with someone who's family is foreign. I think they might be German. It's possible she could be her grandmother and recognized my son, and wanted to do something nice? It's a stretch, but it's possible.

So now instead of enjoying my Costco dog, I'm stressed an horrified about how I reacted to the whole thing. Someone tried to do something nice for me, and the best I could muster was an obviously fake smile.

I feel like shit.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
PISCIS29
by Platinum Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:34 PM
You're fine don't worry. You were in shock. Hell I would have studdered like an idiot. I'm sure she knew you were thankful
Hubris_Huntsman
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:36 PM
Did the kids smile? She was probably focused on them. Maybe she has no grandchildren to spoil so she swoops in on strangers.
702girly
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:40 PM

I can't blame you for looking shocked. I had someone try to pay for my food when I walked next door from the urgent care while waiting to see the doctor. I probably looked homeless, god knows I felt like shit. (I wasn't contagious.) But I refused. The guy seemed really offended but I was kind of offended that he tried to pay for me. I didn't need the help. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:40 PM

That's quite possible. Thankfully my kids aren't spoiled and still get excited at the sight of a dollar, lol.

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: Did the kids smile? She was probably focused on them. Maybe she has no grandchildren to spoil so she swoops in on strangers.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:46 PM

I'm sure you acted more normal on the outside than you're giving yourself credit for - only you know what you were really thinking, on the outside you had a smile and likely said thank you.  Don't worry about it!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:46 PM
Well. That was nice of her. I'm sure it's fine. Random acts of kindness aren't supposed to be for the thanks. And if she thought you were poor, oh well. Just appreciate it, and maybe pass it on if you want.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:25 PM

I'm on my fourth cider, and I still think I looked like a douche.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

I'm sure you acted more normal on the outside than you're giving yourself credit for - only you know what you were really thinking, on the outside you had a smile and likely said thank you.  Don't worry about it!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:28 PM

Instead of worrying about something you cannot change, decide to do something nice for someone else. 

kikibix
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:10 PM

It's a weird thing when someone does something like that.  I remember going shopping during my lunchbreak from work years ago.  I was dressed in nice office wear.  I had some guy toss money into my handheld shopping basket.  I picked it up and turned to talk to him and he wouldn't stop.  I was puzzled and disturbed.  I couldn't understand why.  I did not feel good about it and after I walked out of the store I put the money into the Salvation Army kettle that was outside a few stores down.  All I could think is maybe because of the red coat I was wearing he thought I worked for them? It just made no sense to me and did not make me feel good. If he had offered an explanation of he just wanted to make someones day I'd have been thrilled but instead I was disturbed.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:19 PM

Yes, exactly. I just can't bring myself to accept a gift without knowing WHY. If she thought she was easing the financial burden of having 5 kids, I wouldn't have felt great about that. If she recognized me or the kids and wanted to do something nice, I would have been ok. If she loved children and wanted to brighten their day, that would be ok as well. If she just pays for people's stuff at random, again, that's great. But just out of the blue? With no explanation? It just felt wrong.

Quoting kikibix:

It's a weird thing when someone does something like that.  I remember going shopping during my lunchbreak from work years ago.  I was dressed in nice office wear.  I had some guy toss money into my handheld shopping basket.  I picked it up and turned to talk to him and he wouldn't stop.  I was puzzled and disturbed.  I couldn't understand why.  I did not feel good about it and after I walked out of the store I put the money into the Salvation Army kettle that was outside a few stores down.  All I could think is maybe because of the red coat I was wearing he thought I worked for them? It just made no sense to me and did not make me feel good. If he had offered an explanation of he just wanted to make someones day I'd have been thrilled but instead I was disturbed.


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