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SHE WON'T SEE HER GRAND BABIES GROW UP!!! UPDATE :(

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:32 PM
  • 20 Replies
I am so heartbroken, I just don't know how to help my mama anymore and I am so far away :(

As some know she has cancer and just keeps saying how she has this death sentence hanging over her head, how she won't get to see her grandbabies grow up. When I left after Christmas I thought she finally hit the fighting phase now I think she is spending too much time alone. Idk.

I can't help her and it is killing me inside :(

UPDATE: My mom had her 2nd opinion and they basically agreed with everything she was already told. However, they added on 3yrs to her life. So essentially they said as long as the cancer doesn't grow she has 6yrs maybe more if she changed her lifestyle. Which after our talk about diet changes not sure she's going to which ticks me off :(

She will get to see her oldest child (my don) graduate high school and maybe college, maybe. She won't get to see her granddaughters do any of that, they are only 10yrs old. She won't see them married or have great grandchildren. I am heartbroken.

I only hope that she will snap out of it and start changing things so she can live a longer healthier life. I am just lost right now :(
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Hubris_Huntsman
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:36 PM
Oh, I'n so sorry. Does she have anyone near her?
CABZS
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:44 PM
Her sister is in Chicago.

She has my dad but he works during the day and has his head in the sand it seems.

My sister lives down the fucking street from them and rarely comes around. I swear I will knock her on her ass one day.

Everyone she knows really works during the day and she is left alone then to let her mind think and think.

My MIL said she'd do lunch with her but no call at all. Makes me so mad.

My one friend and her mom are going to take her to lunch this weekend, they both work during the week too, nursing so no real time for lunch.

I think I am going to talk to one of my other friends, she is a school bus driver so she'd be able to get my mom out or at least visit one or two times a week. I am so thankful I still have some amazing friends back home!

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: Oh, I'n so sorry. Does she have anyone near her?
Hubris_Huntsman
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:59 PM
You can't be there but you are still providing her a lot of support. I hope she gets her fight back. Do you have support? I may be misremembering but is your DH deployed?

Quoting CABZS: Her sister is in Chicago.

She has my dad but he works during the day and has his head in the sand it seems.

My sister lives down the fucking street from them and rarely comes around. I swear I will knock her on her ass one day.

Everyone she knows really works during the day and she is left alone then to let her mind think and think.

My MIL said she'd do lunch with her but no call at all. Makes me so mad.

My one friend and her mom are going to take her to lunch this weekend, they both work during the week too, nursing so no real time for lunch.

I think I am going to talk to one of my other friends, she is a school bus driver so she'd be able to get my mom out or at least visit one or two times a week. I am so thankful I still have some amazing friends back home!

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: Oh, I'n so sorry. Does she have anyone near her?
CABZS
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:05 PM
Yes DH is deployed :(

I have friends but sometimes I feel so dumb crying over this, I am not the one with cancer. I worry that I will be one of those needy friends. I know probably a dumb worry but it is there.

I am in counseling for my anxiety and go next week so I guess I can talk about it then.

I guess I also worry that if something happens I won't make it in time or she will be so angry with me for not being there or she is angry with me now bc I am not there. I feel like I have all this guilt bc I am not there. My sister doesn't help bc she made sure to make her snide comments about me being 10hrs away over the holidays. Idk why I let her get to me:(

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: You can't be there but you are still providing her a lot of support. I hope she gets her fight back. Do you have support? I may be misremembering but is your DH deployed?

Quoting CABZS: Her sister is in Chicago.

She has my dad but he works during the day and has his head in the sand it seems.

My sister lives down the fucking street from them and rarely comes around. I swear I will knock her on her ass one day.

Everyone she knows really works during the day and she is left alone then to let her mind think and think.

My MIL said she'd do lunch with her but no call at all. Makes me so mad.

My one friend and her mom are going to take her to lunch this weekend, they both work during the week too, nursing so no real time for lunch.

I think I am going to talk to one of my other friends, she is a school bus driver so she'd be able to get my mom out or at least visit one or two times a week. I am so thankful I still have some amazing friends back home!

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: Oh, I'n so sorry. Does she have anyone near her?
Hubris_Huntsman
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:15 PM
Of course you are going to be hurting and scared too. Let your friends be there for you. They know this has to be hard on you.



Quoting CABZS: Yes DH is deployed :(

I have friends but sometimes I feel so dumb crying over this, I am not the one with cancer. I worry that I will be one of those needy friends. I know probably a dumb worry but it is there.

I am in counseling for my anxiety and go next week so I guess I can talk about it then.

I guess I also worry that if something happens I won't make it in time or she will be so angry with me for not being there or she is angry with me now bc I am not there. I feel like I have all this guilt bc I am not there. My sister doesn't help bc she made sure to make her snide comments about me being 10hrs away over the holidays. Idk why I let her get to me:(

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: You can't be there but you are still providing her a lot of support. I hope she gets her fight back. Do you have support? I may be misremembering but is your DH deployed?

Quoting CABZS: Her sister is in Chicago.

She has my dad but he works during the day and has his head in the sand it seems.

My sister lives down the fucking street from them and rarely comes around. I swear I will knock her on her ass one day.

Everyone she knows really works during the day and she is left alone then to let her mind think and think.

My MIL said she'd do lunch with her but no call at all. Makes me so mad.

My one friend and her mom are going to take her to lunch this weekend, they both work during the week too, nursing so no real time for lunch.

I think I am going to talk to one of my other friends, she is a school bus driver so she'd be able to get my mom out or at least visit one or two times a week. I am so thankful I still have some amazing friends back home!

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: Oh, I'n so sorry. Does she have anyone near her?
CABZS
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:19 PM
Thank you, I will try! I just need this deployment to be over, I swear it feels like the longest deployment ever and I was really sick with our last one and this is also our shortest!

I am just so frustrated and Angry and sad and I swear just too many emotions to handle at once!

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: Of course you are going to be hurting and scared too. Let your friends be there for you. They know this has to be hard on you.



Quoting CABZS: Yes DH is deployed :(

I have friends but sometimes I feel so dumb crying over this, I am not the one with cancer. I worry that I will be one of those needy friends. I know probably a dumb worry but it is there.

I am in counseling for my anxiety and go next week so I guess I can talk about it then.

I guess I also worry that if something happens I won't make it in time or she will be so angry with me for not being there or she is angry with me now bc I am not there. I feel like I have all this guilt bc I am not there. My sister doesn't help bc she made sure to make her snide comments about me being 10hrs away over the holidays. Idk why I let her get to me:(

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: You can't be there but you are still providing her a lot of support. I hope she gets her fight back. Do you have support? I may be misremembering but is your DH deployed?

Quoting CABZS: Her sister is in Chicago.

She has my dad but he works during the day and has his head in the sand it seems.

My sister lives down the fucking street from them and rarely comes around. I swear I will knock her on her ass one day.

Everyone she knows really works during the day and she is left alone then to let her mind think and think.

My MIL said she'd do lunch with her but no call at all. Makes me so mad.

My one friend and her mom are going to take her to lunch this weekend, they both work during the week too, nursing so no real time for lunch.

I think I am going to talk to one of my other friends, she is a school bus driver so she'd be able to get my mom out or at least visit one or two times a week. I am so thankful I still have some amazing friends back home!

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: Oh, I'n so sorry. Does she have anyone near her?
Hubris_Huntsman
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:28 PM
Yep! And that is why we all need support sometimes. i wish you and your mom the best.

Quoting CABZS: Thank you, I will try! I just need this deployment to be over, I swear it feels like the longest deployment ever and I was really sick with our last one and this is also our shortest!

I am just so frustrated and Angry and sad and I swear just too many emotions to handle at once!

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: Of course you are going to be hurting and scared too. Let your friends be there for you. They know this has to be hard on you.



Quoting CABZS: Yes DH is deployed :(

I have friends but sometimes I feel so dumb crying over this, I am not the one with cancer. I worry that I will be one of those needy friends. I know probably a dumb worry but it is there.

I am in counseling for my anxiety and go next week so I guess I can talk about it then.

I guess I also worry that if something happens I won't make it in time or she will be so angry with me for not being there or she is angry with me now bc I am not there. I feel like I have all this guilt bc I am not there. My sister doesn't help bc she made sure to make her snide comments about me being 10hrs away over the holidays. Idk why I let her get to me:(

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: You can't be there but you are still providing her a lot of support. I hope she gets her fight back. Do you have support? I may be misremembering but is your DH deployed?

Quoting CABZS: Her sister is in Chicago.

She has my dad but he works during the day and has his head in the sand it seems.

My sister lives down the fucking street from them and rarely comes around. I swear I will knock her on her ass one day.

Everyone she knows really works during the day and she is left alone then to let her mind think and think.

My MIL said she'd do lunch with her but no call at all. Makes me so mad.

My one friend and her mom are going to take her to lunch this weekend, they both work during the week too, nursing so no real time for lunch.

I think I am going to talk to one of my other friends, she is a school bus driver so she'd be able to get my mom out or at least visit one or two times a week. I am so thankful I still have some amazing friends back home!

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman: Oh, I'n so sorry. Does she have anyone near her?
unbreakable307
by Silver Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:31 PM
sweetheart I am so sorry to hear that I watch my grandfather suffered through cancer and struggle he never got to see me graduate from high school and that broke my heart but you can tell your mother that she will be able to see her grand babies grow up she'll be able to shower them with love from up of us and if anything she'll always be able to see them and be their guardian angel I wish you all the best and her the best as well tell her she's never alone and that no matter what she will always be a part of their lives whether through spirit memory or physical beating
CABZS
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 7, 2015 at 9:31 AM
I have just never seen my mother so beat down, I want to just lift her up and nothing seems to help. It hurts and being so far away makes it worse bc I can't even he there to kick her in the butt and drag her out. I know that's what she needs but my dad is so lost and my sister is just selfish that nobody is there to do what needs to be done.

Quoting unbreakable307: sweetheart I am so sorry to hear that I watch my grandfather suffered through cancer and struggle he never got to see me graduate from high school and that broke my heart but you can tell your mother that she will be able to see her grand babies grow up she'll be able to shower them with love from up of us and if anything she'll always be able to see them and be their guardian angel I wish you all the best and her the best as well tell her she's never alone and that no matter what she will always be a part of their lives whether through spirit memory or physical beating
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 7, 2015 at 9:37 AM
My grandmother said this all my life. At first it was - I won't see you graduate from hs, then I won't see you graduate from college, then I won't see your cousin (10 years younger than me) graduate from hs. She saw all of those things...
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