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It's my fault

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
Dh and I were talking last night a little deeper then we usually do, he told me a few things I had no idea about and then said the reason his ex gf who had sdd broke up with him because he was talking to me at the time (high school drama so fun yes?) Around the time she broke up with him he had actually stopped talking to me.....I mean it was so long ago I don't really care anymore but a little bit of me feels like it's my fault....that's my confession
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2015 at 6:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
StoicLife
by Katerina on Jan. 14, 2015 at 6:04 AM
How old are you now
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2015 at 6:29 AM

Just do I'm clear - you feel like its your fault that your DH is no longer with the mother of his child?  Honestly I think if anyone broke up that relationship, it was your DH.  He choose to pursue another woman instead of putting his energy into the relationship with his former girlfriend.  I think you seem to be an innocent in all this.  You shouldn't feel any guilt over this.  Are you happy with your life together?  Don't dwell on the past the past and enjoy what you have together :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2015 at 6:35 AM
23 and 24

Quoting StoicLife: How old are you now
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2015 at 7:01 AM
He wasn't pursuing me though, we were just talking as friends.

And I really don't but him saying she left him because he was just talking to me made me feel this way

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Just do I'm clear - you feel like its your fault that your DH is no longer with the mother of his child?  Honestly I think if anyone broke up that relationship, it was your DH.  He choose to pursue another woman instead of putting his energy into the relationship with his former girlfriend.  I think you seem to be an innocent in all this.  You shouldn't feel any guilt over this.  Are you happy with your life together?  Don't dwell on the past the past and enjoy what you have together :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2015 at 7:15 AM

Well she must have felt there was some type of chemistry between you both if that is why she broke it off with your DH.  What is your relationship with her now?  I assume that you have some exposure to each other as there is a SDD.  Does the Mom shoot death glares at you every time you see each other?  If not, I'd assume she's moved on.  

I guess bottom line, you just wish your DH never shared this info with you?

Quoting Anonymous 1: He wasn't pursuing me though, we were just talking as friends. And I really don't but him saying she left him because he was just talking to me made me feel this way
Quoting Anonymous 2:

Just do I'm clear - you feel like its your fault that your DH is no longer with the mother of his child?  Honestly I think if anyone broke up that relationship, it was your DH.  He choose to pursue another woman instead of putting his energy into the relationship with his former girlfriend.  I think you seem to be an innocent in all this.  You shouldn't feel any guilt over this.  Are you happy with your life together?  Don't dwell on the past the past and enjoy what you have together :)


kee1006b
by Gold Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 7:16 AM

I understand.  Similar stuff happened with DH and me.  Significant others were jealous of the other, but neither of us pursued the other.  We were close friends, that's it.  Hugged, but never any other physical contact.  My ex wanted me to stop talking to my now DH, but I didn't.  Sorry, been there, done that, got the t shirt.  Not going to dump friends for a guy.  Refused.


eventually, DH and I got our shit together.  What was going to be a one night stand wound up lasting, so far, 15 years.  

luvmybug
by Traderspixie on Jan. 14, 2015 at 7:19 AM
Get over it. That is ancient history. It doesn't matter anymore. Its, like you said, high school drama. If it's your fault or not, they were obviously not ment to be.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2015 at 11:13 AM
Yeah except I lived 100 miles away and we never met each other when she was freaking out. I wanted to take him and a couple friends to a concert for my birthday and that would have been the first time we met

Quoting kee1006b:

I understand.  Similar stuff happened with DH and me.  Significant others were jealous of the other, but neither of us pursued the other.  We were close friends, that's it.  Hugged, but never any other physical contact.  My ex wanted me to stop talking to my now DH, but I didn't.  Sorry, been there, done that, got the t shirt.  Not going to dump friends for a guy.  Refused.

eventually, DH and I got our shit together.  What was going to be a one night stand wound up lasting, so far, 15 years.  

Seagodess
by Emerald Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 11:15 AM

 If you guys were only friends when he was with her, then it is not your fault at all. She was the insecure one who broke up with him.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2015 at 11:20 AM
We put up with each other

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Well she must have felt there was some type of chemistry between you both if that is why she broke it off with your DH.  What is your relationship with her now?  I assume that you have some exposure to each other as there is a SDD.  Does the Mom shoot death glares at you every time you see each other?  If not, I'd assume she's moved on.  

I guess bottom line, you just wish your DH never shared this info with you?

Quoting Anonymous 1: He wasn't pursuing me though, we were just talking as friends.

And I really don't but him saying she left him because he was just talking to me made me feel this way

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Just do I'm clear - you feel like its your fault that your DH is no longer with the mother of his child?  Honestly I think if anyone broke up that relationship, it was your DH.  He choose to pursue another woman instead of putting his energy into the relationship with his former girlfriend.  I think you seem to be an innocent in all this.  You shouldn't feel any guilt over this.  Are you happy with your life together?  Don't dwell on the past the past and enjoy what you have together :)

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