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When you tell a friend you're worried about your weight, how do you prefer they respond?

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:10 AM
  • 18 Replies

If your friend says, "I'm so fat!" you should tell her that she looks great, because it will make her feel better, help her stop stressing out about her body, and, in turn, lose weight, according to new research. But some people believe the opposite is true -- that friends owe it to one another to be honest and say, "So, why are you eating those doughnuts?" or "When are you going to the gym?"

We want to know where YOU stand! When you tell a friend you're worried about your weight, how do you prefer they respond? What has happened in the past when you admitted frustration about your weight to a friend? How did their response affect you?

Please include your first name, last initial, city/state, as you may be quoted in an upcoming CafeMom feature. Thanks in advance!


by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
UxorQuodMatris.
by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:15 AM
My best friend is overweight, I am not, but she isn't dismissive when I voice concerns over weight. She understands my hang ups when it comes to my body. When I say something about it, she says "let's go for a hike then!" Lol. She gives me a little time to wallow then tells me to get off my ass and do something about it.

She never complains about her own weight, she isn't in denial or anything, but she's not obsessed. She likes to say that the world wouldn't be able to handle her being that pretty AND thin lol.
-Shelley in CT
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:17 AM
This is a touchy subject for me since eating disorders almost killed me. I never further a conversation about weight. I usually change the subjectm. Our society focuses too much on weight and not enough on health.
ttriddick
by Gold Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:21 AM
You know, I don't make those comments about my weight to other people because I DO want a friend that lies and says I look great.

It doesn't make sense to stand there and have a 50% chance to be insulted. It also isn't fair to want a friend to lie to me, or to have hard feelings against someone who is only trying to help.

So I just keep those weight comments to myself.

Tiffany R.
Charlotte, NC
SaintJudes
by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:22 AM

I told my friend who IS a little overweightn but mostly in her stomach that that is how hot she has always looked, and that she didn't blow up after her babies or anything. At the same time I honestly told her that if she wants to have a flat stomach a surgery would be the best option and she agreed! Just because there is so much hanging that no number of sit ups could get rid of that. She said "I know right!" and wasn't offended. I told her her husband and I love her, and I really do so much!! I also still think she is sexy <3 I love her confidence. <3

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:22 AM

There's honesty and there's brutal honesty. I don't complain about my weight because I don't want to hear what other people have to say about it.  But instead of "why are you eating those doughnuts?" How about "I heard that these are some healthy snacks: A, B, and C" or instead of "when are you going to the gym?" how about "Would you like to work out together?" Being honest doesn't mean you have to be cruel.

AliKatAK47
by Meanie Pants on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:23 AM

My friends are honest and blunt. So If I told them I felt fat, they'd slap the doritos out of my hand and show me a picture of a treadmil like "do you know what this is?...well use it."  Actually one of my friends DID do that to me. But she also helped me work on an exercise regime that would help me get the body I wanted. I didn't know that simply running would make me lose my but but squats and kicks would enhance it.  I don't want to be ultra skinny or ultra muscular. I just want to be healthy. 

OshKoshByotch
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:25 AM

I generally like if they are honest with me about it. It is not a conversation that comes up often though.. 

missmars786
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:32 AM
I'm envious of your friends peace of mind. It's always good to be around someone who can accept themselves so well. 😄

Quoting UxorQuodMatris.: My best friend is overweight, I am not, but she isn't dismissive when I voice concerns over weight. She understands my hang ups when it comes to my body. When I say something about it, she says "let's go for a hike then!" Lol. She gives me a little time to wallow then tells me to get off my ass and do something about it.

She never complains about her own weight, she isn't in denial or anything, but she's not obsessed. She likes to say that the world wouldn't be able to handle her being that pretty AND thin lol.
-Shelley in CT
UxorQuodMatris.
by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this
I envy it too. She's super confident and comfortable with herself.

Quoting missmars786: I'm envious of your friends peace of mind. It's always good to be around someone who can accept themselves so well. �
Quoting UxorQuodMatris.: My best friend is overweight, I am not, but she isn't dismissive when I voice concerns over weight. She understands my hang ups when it comes to my body. When I say something about it, she says "let's go for a hike then!" Lol. She gives me a little time to wallow then tells me to get off my ass and do something about it.



She never complains about her own weight, she isn't in denial or anything, but she's not obsessed. She likes to say that the world wouldn't be able to handle her being that pretty AND thin lol.

-Shelley in CT
missmars786
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:37 AM
Oh, I would want my friend to be honest with me. I can't have someone mollycoddle me about my weight.

However, I'm pretty kind when it comes to talking to a loved one about their weight. I love who love whatever their looks, so everyone knows not to ask me, because I think the people in my life are beautiful the way they are! : )

As for myself, I need to get on the treadmill, lol...
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