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Is my mom wrong? (Long)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 32 Replies

I will give a little back story.. My sister and her boyfriend had a little girl about 3years ago. When my sister went into labor at 5am my mom flew to the hospital to be there for the delivery(she was there for both of our previous children's births) well my sister had a very long hard labor and finally hit just over 14 hours, the decided to do a c-section. At this point my mom has asked my sis if she would like mom or boyfriend to go in with her.. She had decided on the boyfriend.. So at this point it is almost midnight and my mom had been there all day, while knowing that her dogs at home had only been let out once that day.

So anyways baby is born and we all notice that there is someone in the nursery with a baby, it my sister's BF and my niece.(mind you it was a c-section and my sister was still in recovery) I quickley pushed the door button in the waiting room to get a nurse to speak to. The nurse comes to the door and we ask if the baby was born and if that was who was in the nursey and if we could see her though the window(there was a window in the nursery that was attached to the waiting room ) the nurse says she must ask sister Bf and would let us know. Weird but ok. She returns and tells us that the parents have decided that baby will not be shown until my sister is out of recovery.. The parents decision...No the BF decision....My mom was threw the roof mad. We waited almost an hour for Bf to come out and tell us how my sister or baby we're doing.. It never happened. At this point it is 1am and I and mom have been in the waiting room with my crabby 2year old since 6 pm and both me and mom are so upset that we both go home. Neither getting to see my sister or baby.. I finally got a picture and size of my niece in a mass text the following morning... His mom was able to hold the baby before my mom which really upset my mom.. All and all my mom was so hurt by the decision my sister's Bf had made to not let us even view the baby.. We weren't asking to hold right away, just see. So she explain to my sister how it made her feel and how she felt her BF was horribly in the wrong. She told my sister had it been a natural birth she would been in the room when she arrived, why was this so different. So since then my mom can't stand the BF and feel he should have apoligized for that night. 

Fast foward to now, My sister and the BF are still together. The boyfriend has a total of 6 kids with my niece, two adult children, and three boys for the previous marriage my sister and him destroyed. The boys are a set of twins that are 7 years old and 9 year old. When they are around they have no respect and are rude. They have bullied my child and thier little sister (my 3year old niece) 

So my mom still does not get along with him and just tolerates him for my sister. Well my mom recently told my sister that she does not was his boys at our family events, christmas, birthday parties, ect. She does not want to treat them like her grandchildren and feels they have their own grandparents. She feels that when he brings his boys to events that the BF will not disipline them when they are in her home. She does not feel right enforcing disipline on his kids. So she would just prefer if they didn't include them in our events.. Do you think my mom is wrong to do this to them? 

I am honestly back and forth on this, I really don't like him but also tolerate for my sister but they now intented to get married, so I really don't this it can be avoid forever.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2015 at 9:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
greenlove2013
by on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:02 AM
Well if his kids are brats, I wouldn't want them around either
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:02 AM

Was BF's mom at the hospital for a long time like your mom was??? Did your mom and BF get along before this baby was born??

MissTuree
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:05 AM
1 mom liked this
Wow. Hm....I get where your mom is coming from. But that's a really cruddy situation for your sister. It's horroble to exclude the kids from the family though and I wonder if this is just aggression because of the birthing incident. Tough situation.
bluebunnybabe
by kid crack dealer on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:06 AM
1 mom liked this
Your mom just needs to realize that by excluding the kids, she probably will see her grandkids a lot less. It's her choice who she wants there though.
Gorilla_Mama
by Ruby Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:07 AM

If the kids are brats I can see not wanting them around but if your sister accepts them as her family then your mom should too. I'm not sure how the bf being an ass at the birth makes a difference in them being brats though.

lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:07 AM
2 moms liked this

Your mom should let all the children that enter her house, know the rules. She should also tell them the consequences for not following them.I think hyour mom can decide not to allow them in her house.That will probably mean she wont see her grandchild that your sister has with her BF. Mom needs to be prepared. 

Its not something I would do . I would sit all the children down explainthe rules and consequences. Then follow through.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:08 AM
2 moms liked this

Holding grudges like this will never solve anything. IT was 3 years ago, it's time to let go.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:10 AM

Nope, the BF mom didn't show up until the following morning.. And they didn't excactly see eye to eye.. He was still married when him and my sister got together..and she really didn't approve

Quoting Sassy762:

Was BF's mom at the hospital for a long time like your mom was??? Did your mom and BF get along before this baby was born??


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:10 AM

I understand how she feels.  I would've left out the part about not wanting to treat them like her grandchildren because they have their own.  That just makes the divide bigger.  However, I would have told them that either they discipline their kids or she will.  If they don't like that, then they can keep them home. 

quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 10:10 AM
1 mom liked this

it sounds like she hates the bf and extends the hate to his kids..it sounds like the birth situation is whats behind this..your mom needs to grow up..'his mom got to hold the baby first..waaahhhh'

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