Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

no visitation is not so your wife can spend time with my child

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 70 Replies
my daughter is 8 years old. I have been married since she was 4 to the man she calls daddy she has known my husband since she was a year old.
Her father has never been even semi involved. For I think 6 months he did see her once or twice a week but that was when she was 2. For a couple of years after that he would see her once every couple of months for a few hours at a time it has now gotten to the point where he hasn't seen or even contacted her in over 2 years.
He now lives halfway across the country. He called me last week to say that he wants most of the summer and every other school break. I laughed I'm going to be honest. before he was not able to take even his every other weekend visits or even go to court to get more because he had no way of being able to come and pick her up. He explained that he's getting married and the plan would be for his wife to drive and come pick her up from me. Then while he works 60 hours a week she would be the one taking care of my daughter and he would basically spend Saturdays with her. For that he thinks my daughter should be away from my home and her family every summer and most school breaks. I told him absolutely not.

He threatened to take me to court and I told him to go ahead because there's no way the judge is going to first of all order a child to go spend months at a time with a man who she hasn't even seen or heard from in years and there's also no way a judge is just going to order this kind of situation knowing that she would be with dads wife most of the time. I mean I've talked to an attorney and at this point I've got enough to have his rights terminated so me and my husband have been planning to do that and have my husband adopt her.

I guess it just makes me crazy that he thinks that after all of this after most of her life not being anywhere near her she should have to drop everything for him. I mean I actually did the math and the total amount of time that he spent with her is less than a week of her eight years. And he's never had her for more than 6 hours at a time
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2015 at 2:44 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2015 at 2:49 PM
Bump
Spam72
by Emerald Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 2:51 PM
Honestly wouldn't a break be nice? A couples vacation with your husband? I would allow a short trip.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2015 at 2:51 PM
me and my husband have 2 children together so it's not like we do the childless at that time anyway. Plus I like having all of my children around

Quoting Spam72: Honestly wouldn't a break be nice? A couples vacation with your husband? I would allow a short trip.
bleumonster
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 2:52 PM
His fiance is pushing this. However he might just get visitation if he tries IDK but I would definitely let him try to take it to court first.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 20, 2015 at 2:52 PM
6 moms liked this

Visitation isn't for SM but your child can call her SF Daddy?  That's not hypocritical at all....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 20, 2015 at 2:53 PM
Why terminate his rights? That will never make sense to me. Your dd will never have your current dhs blood in her veins. She is never going to really be his child. Sure he supports her and is there, but she's not his.

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 2:53 PM

 lmao!

i wish BM would take her kids on her own time, so tehre is always an opposite problem!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 20, 2015 at 2:54 PM
4 moms liked this

Actually he could get visits if he is deemed fit, and it's hard to get rights terminated. You pay your lawyer to tell you what you want to hear.

Who actually has the child is irrelevant, when it's his parenting time he dictates who watches her while he works. Regardless of prior involvement, the courts see it as the child has a right to know their father.

I get you are upset and I would be too but don't think this will work in your favor 100% cause it likely won't. Just saying.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2015 at 2:54 PM
I spoke with an attorney and the attorney said that it would be a big pain in the butt for him to get it. First of all he would have to agree to an adjustment. Which would mean he would have to come to our state for short visits with her for months. Probably at least once a month for 6 months. The attorney also said that I would have every right to refuse to allow his wife to come pick her up. Which would mean that he would have to do the driving which is unable to do because of work.

Quoting bleumonster: His fiance is pushing this. However he might just get visitation if he tries IDK but I would definitely let him try to take it to court first.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2015 at 2:55 PM
4 moms liked this
my husband has been in her life since she was a baby and we have been married since she was 4. All during this time her biological father hasn't been around. On the other hand his wife has never even met my child. As I said he hasn't even seen or talked to her in two years

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Visitation isn't for SM but your child can call her SF Daddy?  That's not hypocritical at all....

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)