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I am now stuck between two mentally ill cousins

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies

One of my cousins is emotionally unstable and just... odd in her reasoning, her functioning, etc.  She makes one mistake after another in her life and does not seem to possess the ability to understand or rethink her choices and do better.  Her brother is bi-polar and emotionally violatle. Their mother was mentally ill and committed suicide years ago when they were children (she poured gas over her head and lit a match).  Their father died when they were in their 20s and they were left with a step-mother who was always cold to them and preferred her own biological children.

The life-long stories on these two could take up a mini series.  It is sad and trajic, but also frustrating because they are train wrecks.  My father spent his life trying to be a father substitute and counsel them, however he never really understood their illnesses and didn't get why he would put in so much effort only to see them continue to mess up their lives and make the same mistakes over an over - their biggest being so irresponsible with money they have on many occassions nearly ended up on the streets.

Anyhoo, now my father is elderly and I am due to inherit money and property from his sister, our aunt, and I am pretty sure my cousins feel they should have a portion of it.  They were purposefully excluded because neither of them would do anything but spend every last penny.  But a death has not occured so we have not crossed this bridge... yet.

Right now they are at war with each other because one had the other's cat and, unbeknownst to me, asked me to care for it without bothering to tell the other of that decision... and he is enraged.  ENRAGED.  But there is no one else to take the cat and neither can keep it anymore.  He just called and drilled me on my ability to care for the cat, the environment the cat would be living in, and demands to come see the cat at will.  I understand his illness so I talked him down and reassured him and I think we'll be good.  But I am not happy that I am dealing with this in my life.  I'm a single mom with a lot going on, I don't need this.

Growing up my father had story after story of these two, and now I am getting it all first hand.  What does one do stuck between two mentally ill people like these? 


Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2015 at 8:08 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 20, 2015 at 8:11 PM
1 mom liked this
Run!!!! As far and fast as you can!! Lol.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 20, 2015 at 8:12 PM
You slowly stop communication and hope they get therapy?
Anonymous17
by Bronze Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 8:14 PM
Honestly, I would distance myself and stop communicating with them.
BaltimoreBaby
by Gold Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 8:16 PM

I don't know. Honestly I'd get the cat rehome or... I dunno. God. I'm honestly so bad at dealing with mental illness it's one of my biggest character flaws. I DO NOT handle mental illness well. 



scarletmeshell
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 8:17 PM
2 moms liked this

The adults in their life sadly did not take care of them. Now that they are adults there is nothing you can do. Let them live their lives you can't change them.

WickedOpal
by Ruby Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 8:23 PM
Don't take the cat. Problem averted.
LeilaBeansMom
by Gold Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 8:27 PM
Agreed.

Quoting scarletmeshell:

The adults in their life sadly did not take care of them. Now that they are adults there is nothing you can do. Let them live their lives you can't change them.

loquaciousred
by on Jan. 20, 2015 at 8:27 PM
When your relatives pass. Take the money and your children and move...and don't tell either of your cousins.
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