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Life Insurance and Kids

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies

Trying to figure this out, maybe someone can help.

I have a small life insurance plan through my work.  My son is the beneficiary.  The issue I am facing is HR is saying I cannot leave my parents in control of the money should something happen when my son is still a minor.  Whoever takes custody of the child gets to control the money.  That would be my ex husband, who is insanely irresponsible financially and it was a bulk of the reason we divorced.  He'd blow through it and leave our son penniless.

I'm trying to figure out a way to give my parents control over the money without my ex husband taking it all from them.  Outside of changing beneficiaries, which I am trying to avoid, is there a way to have a different person appointed to control the money other than my ex husband?  The law is clear that he will automatically get custody in the event of my passing, but I fail to see why he should be in control of the money meant for our son.  At least if my parents have control, it would be used for my son. 

Any advice?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2015 at 9:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
imthatgirl0607
by Emerald Member on Jan. 31, 2015 at 9:14 AM
Just make them the beneficiary. I don't understand shy you want to make this more difficult?
caustinb
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2015 at 9:15 AM
I don't know about a work policy, but I have a policy that would be in trust, with my parents as trustees, if dh and I die together. My sister would be guardian.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2015 at 9:16 AM

I would if I had to, but was hoping there was a different way to go about it.  And HR gives people a lot of grief when changing beneficiaries.  They're not very people friendly.

Quoting imthatgirl0607: Just make them the beneficiary. I don't understand shy you want to make this more difficult?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2015 at 9:17 AM

have your parents the beneficiary then have a legal document drawn up by a lawyer that they are getting the money to take care of your son.   You could also just ask that the money go in a trust for your son if he's a minor when you pass away.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 31, 2015 at 9:17 AM
My sister made me the beneficiary. We are very close so she knows that I would make sure every dime went to her boys without her ex touching it.

Do you have a will? Maybe consult an attorney.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2015 at 9:19 AM

I was hoping to avoid changing beneficiaries, but it sounds like this is what needs to be done. 

Quoting Anonymous 2:

have your parents the beneficiary then have a legal document drawn up by a lawyer that they are getting the money to take care of your son.   You could also just ask that the money go in a trust for your son if he's a minor when you pass away.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2015 at 9:20 AM

And I will look into what it takes to have it go into a trust fund.  That's one thing I didn't think about. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2015 at 9:22 AM

Probably, I wish your company was like dh's company.. We had a friend that h worked with passaway suddenly .  His kid was the beneficary.   A bunch of us knew the kid's mom ( da & mom weren't together anymore).. We all went to the owner of the company and explained how she will just spend the money on herself.. The company took the life ins and made it into a trust for the boy.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

I was hoping to avoid changing beneficiaries, but it sounds like this is what needs to be done. 

Quoting Anonymous 2:

have your parents the beneficiary then have a legal document drawn up by a lawyer that they are getting the money to take care of your son.   You could also just ask that the money go in a trust for your son if he's a minor when you pass away.



Linda_Runs
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2015 at 9:25 AM

Yes, yes and yes.  You can appoint a trustee or use the executor to administrate the trust account for your son.  While it is true that your ex-husband would probably get custody automatically, that has no bearing on your life insurance beneficiaries.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2015 at 9:31 AM

I will look further into the paperwork for it.  There might be something in there I overlooked and HR could very well be blowing smoke because of the paperwork.  I just can't trust my ex husband with any large sum of money.  He was one of those who, as soon as he got extra cash, he'd blow it on something immediately and have nothing to show for it.  I had to keep a savings in a secret account during our marriage because he blew through our joint savings and bought nothing but garbage with it (cars he was planning on "restoring", a new computer he'd then destroy and sell off, etc). 

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Probably, I wish your company was like dh's company.. We had a friend that h worked with passaway suddenly .  His kid was the beneficary.   A bunch of us knew the kid's mom ( da & mom weren't together anymore).. We all went to the owner of the company and explained how she will just spend the money on herself.. The company took the life ins and made it into a trust for the boy.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

I was hoping to avoid changing beneficiaries, but it sounds like this is what needs to be done. 

Quoting Anonymous 2:

have your parents the beneficiary then have a legal document drawn up by a lawyer that they are getting the money to take care of your son.   You could also just ask that the money go in a trust for your son if he's a minor when you pass away.




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