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They left us with their bill! update

Posted by Anonymous
  • 344 Replies
We went out for my birthday last night. We invited family and friends but we were clear that everyone was expected to pay for their own. Also that to please consider paying for their own to be the gift. No one seemed to mind, this is the norm in my family and in dhs family the guests pay for themselves and the birthday person and family so asking them to pay for their own was less than the norm for them. My family always goes out because usually we would be a group of 30-50 and no one's house could really comfortably accommodate that plus the hostess would spend the whole day cooking and the next cleaning.

When we ordered, the waitress asked how to spilt the bill so there was no doubt as to what was expected. We had a nice time, we ordered wine for the table (on our bill) and brought a cake. My inlaws left right after cake, before the bills came but I assumed that they had asked for their bill early. Well later when the bills did come the waitress handed dh 2; ours and theirs. Dh asked the waitress about it, she said that mil and fil told her we were getting theirs. On top of that, they had gotten apitizers and ordered two of the most expensive meals on the menue!

Dh went ahead and paid because he knew if we had refused, it would have come out of her check. However, he did leave a small tip since 1. The service wasn't that good and 2. She should have checked with us about picking up their bill instead of taking their word for it, especially after it was so clear that the bills would be divided and we were paying for the wine, us and our children.

Dh is so mad at his parents, mostly because they knew exactly what they were doing. Dh said that we aren't inviting them to our dds first birthday next month since they were so trashy to dine and ditch.


alright finally I'm not featured so I can add an update. I did post an update but I'm assuming not many people saw it. So first answer a few commonly posted questions. I understand some people find it tacky to expect people to pay for their own meals. However this is how my family does it and its how my husband's family does and no one had a problem so that shouldn't even be an issue. Also for those who are upset that I left the waitress with a little amount of the tip. They automatically added I believe 15% to the bill. We did not take that off even though technically we could have. We only left $10 in addition to that 15%. Usually we would have added between 20 and 30 dollars in addition to the 15 percent since it was my birthday. So she's still got a pretty fair tip it just wasn't what we would have usually left. Of course we always leave extra when we're the ones hosting the dinner just in case somebody cheaps out on the tip and because yes it is harder to wait on a group. Also yes I did mention that our usual gatherings can get up to about 40 people. However this night it was only I 20 or so and I believe we were only table so honestly there really was no reason for sub standard service. My husband did talk to his parents about the situation. They were upset because they didn't get to sit by him and they felt that he didn't give them enough attention as they deserved. That is why they felt justified in leaving us with their bill. My husband sat next to me as I was the birthday girl. As people usually do when you go out to dinner for somebody's birthday people came in and started filling out the table around me. So the people who got there first. Sit closer to me and of course my husband. His parents came in fairly later than most other people and so they ended up at the other end of the table. well that's what happens when you go to a birthday dinner and get there late, you it where you sit. plus it wasn't even like he ignored them the whole night or anything. When they got there he stood up gave them hugs that hello and found them a place to set. We even had to have somebody screwed over so that they could sit together. I also got up to say hi to them and thank them for coming and the problem was they kept calling my husband over to them. My husband was trying to enjoy the night and enjoy the time with me he didn't want to keep running over to them so eventually he told them no I'm going to sit here. he told them that he feels he was 100% justified in the way he acted at the birthday dinner. He also told them that they were extremely rude in dining and dashing. Technically we could have given the restaurant their information and the restaurant could have taken legal action because what they did was illegal. They continue to defend their actions and even demanded an apology for my husband. Which he of course refused to gIve. he told them that they need to pay us back for their meal and they need to apologize for the rudeness and thank us for covering their butts. my husband also told them that until they apologize and pay us back they would not be invited to any further parties We also called the restaurant and I didn't name names I didn't even say who I was I just asked to speak to the manager and told him that in the last few days we had had a problem where we were with a group and a member of the group told the waitress that we were taking up their bills something we didn't agree to do and that perhaps he needs to talk to his wait staff about making sure they know to ask the customer before allowing someone else to add their tab to theirs. Again I didn't even the waitress's name because I didn't want her to get in trouble since yes she screwed up but in the end it was my in laws that were wrong and as some of you have said I do admit that they did kind of put her in an awkward position. The manager told me that he would talk to the wait staff about it and thanked me for the comment.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2015 at 10:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2015 at 10:31 AM
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 31, 2015 at 10:32 AM
7 moms liked this
Wow, rude. I hope he calls his parents out on that.
by ~Tammie~ on Jan. 31, 2015 at 10:33 AM
54 moms liked this

 So he is just like his parents... cheap.


edit** In reference to the tip. I don't mind having guests pay for themselves as long as it is talked about beforehand but leaving the waitress with a smaller tip because she did not verify it is awful. She had a huge table and lots of tickets.


by on Jan. 31, 2015 at 10:34 AM
That was tacky and rude for them to do that.
by on Jan. 31, 2015 at 10:34 AM
2 moms liked this
He's mad at them, but did/will be day anything to them?
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 31, 2015 at 10:35 AM
33 moms liked this

 I dont agree with leaving a small tip for the waitress because his parents are cheap asses

by on Jan. 31, 2015 at 10:35 AM
8 moms liked this
Confront them. Tell them they owe you the money for it. If they throw a fit and refuse to pay, then consider not inviting them to future family parties. Tell them straight up that it doesn't happen again. I'm not a passive aggressive person.
by Emerald Member on Jan. 31, 2015 at 10:35 AM
7 moms liked this

 Celebrate with cake at home. No chance of getting screwed over. I was brought up that you only do what you can afford. I get that you weren't and go by the come and pay your own way. I'm sorry it backfired. I would NOT toss them out of your life, which is what you will be doing if you don't invite them to DDs birthday.

by on Jan. 31, 2015 at 10:36 AM

wow i would later be calling them and bitching them out and would refuse to invite them to anything ever again. that is just rude and trashy

by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2015 at 10:36 AM
1 mom liked this
I dont blame him and I'd exclude then for the birthday as a punishment. Has ur dh or u talked to them to ask wat the hell they were thinking?
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