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3 kids and age spacing?? Will it be any easier???

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies

I have a 6 year old and a 15 month old. We are going to have a third but we aren't going to start trying until around July/August. My son will be close to 2 and my daughter will be 7 in December. If we conceive around that time my kids will be 7 1/2 and 2 1/2 by the time baby is born. We know we want 3 kids and I love the idea of a big family. But I am nervous... My 6 year old is so crazy and heard headed. She still have a lot of listening issues (despite our consistent expectations) and impulse control. While at the park the other day she was completely ignoring me and ended up hurting a little buy who was at the bottom of the slide (after I told her to not to slide down). Since she refused to listen I told her it was time to leave since she could not listen, she ran away from me and as I ran after her with DS in my arms I had that moment.... I thought "how the HELL am I going to do this with 3???" I took the kids home and just kept thinking that in my head. I know I want a third but I feel terrified at times. It shouldn't be this hard with this age gap, but it some days are so difficult. Am I crazy to want a third??? Will the age spacing help at all?? It doesn't feel like it.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 18, 2015 at 10:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 18, 2015 at 10:38 AM

So what punishment did she get for being disobedient? I don't think it's crazy to want another child, but maybe you should work out your discipline issues first.

KristenFowles
by Ruby Member on Feb. 18, 2015 at 10:38 AM
Somehow.. It all works out.

Mine are 8/7/3
ELKmountain.mom
by on Feb. 18, 2015 at 10:41 AM
I would wait and not stress about it.
I had 3 in 4.5 years, it was crazy but all I knee. When I ended up pregnant 3 years later I freaked, I had no idea what to expect with such a gap and how I would handle 4. The kids were 8.5, 6.5 and 2 months from 4 and it's wonderful. They adore her and the older kids made it really easy to have another baby.
I would wait an extra year, oldest be 8.5 younger 3.5 and it also gives you time to decide if two is good.
top-secret
by on Feb. 18, 2015 at 10:41 AM
You need to figure out a way to discipline her. Maybe a few swats to the rear will do her some good.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 18, 2015 at 10:41 AM


Quoting Anonymous 2:

So what punishment did she get for being disobedient? I don't think it's crazy to want another child, but maybe you should work out your discipline issues first.

We left the park after just having arrived and she had a time out when we got home. There is no lack of discipline. I wouldn't allow her to keep playing at the park after acting that way. She does know better but she has serious impulse control. It has become worse since she started school. She is EXTREMELY intelligent and she's doing very well academically (we have always worked with her on education), shes already reading above her grade level. We do still struggle with behavior, we have monthly meetings with her teacher about her behavior so we can work through it. We also take her to a behavior specialist. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 18, 2015 at 10:42 AM


Quoting top-secret: You need to figure out a way to discipline her. Maybe a few swats to the rear will do her some good.

If only it were that easy. Spanking has zero effect on her. We are very consistent with discipline, we aren't lazy parents who ignore that there is an issue. We are certainly aware, she has always been difficult. That's why we waited so long to have a second.

top-secret
by on Feb. 18, 2015 at 10:45 AM
What your doing now isn't working either. So hmm. Have you use reward charts of tokens for good behavior?

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Quoting top-secret: You need to figure out a way to discipline her. Maybe a few swats to the rear will do her some good.

If only it were that easy. Spanking has zero effect on her. We are very consistent with discipline, we aren't lazy parents who ignore that there is an issue. We are certainly aware, she has always been difficult. That's why we waited so long to have a second.

lovinglife1622
by Gold Member on Feb. 18, 2015 at 10:47 AM
I don't know hopefully with your continued discipline your daughter will be better by 7.5. I am pregnant with my 3rd and I wish I had the last 2 a little closer my daughter will be 3 when baby is born. My eldest son is 12 so that's a whole other kettle of fish.
Greenenvy
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2015 at 10:47 AM
3 is a thousand times harder than two. Two are manageable, three not so much. My twins are 12 hrs apart and they were 2 1/2 when their brother was born.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 18, 2015 at 10:52 AM

I'll be honest it does become frustrating because people are very quick to judge when it comes to parents who have children like my daughter. People assume we don't try anything and we do not discipline her. Let me tell you though, we have tried EVERYTHING. Time outs, spanking, positive reinforcement (which we still always do), reward system, stick chart, points chart for activity rewards. We spend LOTS of time with her and she is not wanting for any attention. That is no a problem in the least. I have also tried to give her more independence to see if that would help but it doesn't have an effect. We are constantly judged but honestly we are always trying our hardest and we are also meeting with a behavior specialist. I know some parents ignore the problem and don't do anything, but that is not us. We have worked so hard with her on behavior but it has had very little effect. The specialist has also given many tips and tricks that have no panned out. She said our daughter is extremely strong willed but also very intelligent. She said it is clear there isn't a lot that we can do to change her behavior because it's clearly part of her personality. She said as she gets older things will get easier in a way but not completely. She has a clear lack of impulse control as well, but she specialist said that isn't uncommon at her age. Starting Kindergarten was a real set back for us because all of the work we had accomplished had since been lost and she has picked up some even worse habits.

Quoting top-secret: What your doing now isn't working either. So hmm. Have you use reward charts of tokens for good behavior?
Quoting Anonymous 1:


Quoting top-secret: You need to figure out a way to discipline her. Maybe a few swats to the rear will do her some good.

If only it were that easy. Spanking has zero effect on her. We are very consistent with discipline, we aren't lazy parents who ignore that there is an issue. We are certainly aware, she has always been difficult. That's why we waited so long to have a second.


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