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wwyd?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies
I just don't know what to do. My parents are 57 years old. My mother and my father are of very poor health. My mother has high blood pressure, an irregular heart beat, stage 4 renal failure, kidney problems, arthritis in both knees, bladder leakage, ibs and constant migraines. My father is disabled. He had his right leg removed because of a very bad staff infection he got in his right leg about 23 years ago. He has a hole in his throat that is hooked up to a portable oxygen machine that helps him breath daily. He has Fibromyalisa, insomnia, he is incontinent, has suffered 2 heart attacks in the last year, got pneumonia 6 times over the last two years.

My dad owns a small electronic shop in town. He's been in business for about 20 years. His business over the past two years has really gone down hill. He can't keep employees because he can't afford to pay them much, employees have been lying to him and stealing from him, the work load just isn't there because now a days it's cheaper to buy new than to fix old. He is struggling to pay his bills. He's been borrowing money from dh and I to help pay their bills.

Dh and I have suggested they quit and sell their business. I suggested they apply for disability and social security for my dad and her to help with paying their bills so dad didn't have to work. Mom about threw a fit because she said my dad nor her have paid taxes in over 12 years. Said that they can't sell the business or close it because that is the only thing keeping the is from coming after them.

I then suggested they sell their home which they have been toying with the idea for the last year. They have almost $70k in equity in their home. If they sold their home they could move in with us and Dh and I could support them. Only expense they would have is health insurance. They could invest their money and live off that for whatever they want. We can't get them to make up their mind.

in the meantime dh is pulling double shift going to work at his regular job 6 am to 2 pm and then going to work for my dad from 3:30 pm to 8 pm. My dad is not paying him because he can't afford to. Dh and I are really getting tired of the is whole situation.

any advice on what we can do to help them so we can get our lives back?
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 27, 2015 at 8:20 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 27, 2015 at 8:24 AM
It sounds like they don't want to improve their situation. If they don't want your help, then don't give it to them and that includes your husband working for nothing.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 27, 2015 at 8:25 AM
You're going to have to give them a firm deadline to make a decision or you guys can't help them anymore.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 27, 2015 at 8:25 AM

Ultimatum.  Either they follow the plan you've outlined or you're out and they figure it out themselves.  No use in your Dh killing himself when the situation could be remedied.

WickedOpal
by Ruby Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 8:26 AM

I think you are helping too much.  If their situation was worse, they would have done more to improve it by now.  All you are doing by helping is to slow the eventuality of them having to make some important decisions.  

tossed
by Ruby Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 8:32 AM

How much do they owe the IRS?  I think that is a critical question. Even if they qualify for SS disability, the benefits might be garnished to pay the IRS debt. Some of that will depend on how the business is set up.  

I wish I had a suggestion. Other than check on how much they owe, how the business is set up, and ask a lawyer if their benefits could be garnished, I don't know what to tell you other than I am very sorry. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 27, 2015 at 8:37 AM
You're going to have to stop enabling them. Also, the irs doesn't typically go after social security. My in law owe a ton of money and they have been absolved of their debt unless they come I to money beyond their social security checks.
Elle.tea.22
by Emerald Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 8:40 AM

Put your foot down. My mom always said "at some point, adults become children again and stubborn and such" so just tell them this is how its gonna be. It may break their spirit at first but they will be so much happier in the end, and you get your life back and it all works out.

Just put your foot down.

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