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Exh wants me to help him get custody of his daughter! -Update-

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies

I'm not really super clear on the specifics. Basically his gf left him and took his dd (4) and was couch surfing with her after getting kicked out of her sisters house for allegedly sleeping with her sisters husband. It's a hot mess. She's got severe bipoler disorder and has been refusing to take her medication.

He called me super distraught and worried about his dd so I told him if he was that concerned he needed to file for emergency custody. He did that and it was granted. He goes to see a judge on the 18th.

Last time they went to court over something she attacked his character pretty severely. He wants me to write a letter in regards to his character which I am happy to do (I'm in another state otherwise I'd be willing to go into court for him). He's a great coparent and has never done anything harmful to our children nor has he ever attempted to keep them from me. I think my best bet would be to steer clear of any opinions on his gf and make it more about his parenting.

He is going for primary and I hope he gets it. He's the best thing for that little girl. He offers stability and a safe environment for her. I told him rather than attack his gfs character to focus on what's in the best interest of the child. I don't know anything about custody cases at all so any advise you think would be helpful is welcome.


Update-

He had court today and was awarded full custody. The judge asked him what he wanted and he said full custody and the judge asked her what her opinion was on it and she said that she agreed with exh. The judge said they will work out visitation in mediation. She also has to file her information with the child support office in 30 days.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 4, 2015 at 9:11 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 4, 2015 at 9:16 AM
Bump
donnag013
by Platinum Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 9:16 AM

I think he's on the right track. Judges look for stability, and he needs to focus on what HE can offer the child. Also, many judges award custody to whoever is more willing to foster a relationship with the other parent, so he should take that into consideration as well.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 4, 2015 at 9:20 AM

Definitely make his case without opinions on the other party, it will make him the mature one.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 4, 2015 at 9:22 AM
That's exactly what I told him. He wanted me to include a bunch of things the kids told me regarding his gf but I told him I didn't think that was the way to go as there was no proof. I think we'd be better off if I focused more on his existing relationship with his children and how great he's been as far as coparenting goes (No lie there. He's been an awesome dad before and after the divorce). I also suggested he take a parenting class and get his dd in therapy to help her deal with all of the changes that are occurring. That way he can be better prepared to being primary caregiver. His intent isn't to keep his dd from his gf he just wants her to manage her mental health and he's afraid she will snap and hurt herself or others if she doesn't.

Quoting donnag013:

I think he's on the right track. Judges look for stability, and he needs to focus on what HE can offer the child. Also, many judges award custody to whoever is more willing to foster a relationship with the other parent, so he should take that into consideration as well.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 4, 2015 at 9:28 AM
Right that's what I was telling him. I told him as long as he keeps his personal feelings about his gf seperate from his desire to do what best for his dd he should be alright.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Definitely make his case without opinions on the other party, it will make him the mature one.

TXHulaMama
by Silver Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 9:28 AM

He definitely needs an attorney if he doesn't yet have one. He should focus on his daughter and only bring up things about his ex-girlfriend if they have an impact on the litle girl. Which in this case would be the unstable home environment and concerns for the little girls safety due to her mother not properly being treated for medical condition.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 4, 2015 at 9:33 AM
He got a consult for a lawyer but can't afford the fees for ongoing legal help. He did apply for legal aide so hopefully he is able to get some help through them. He was able to get the emergency custody granted pretty quickly by simply expressing his concerns regarding his dds living conditions as well as her mother's untreated diagnosed mental illness.

Quoting TXHulaMama:

He definitely needs an attorney if he doesn't yet have one. He should focus on his daughter and only bring up things about his ex-girlfriend if they have an impact on the litle girl. Which in this case would be the unstable home environment and concerns for the little girls safety due to her mother not properly being treated for medical condition.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 14, 2015 at 2:22 AM

BUMP!

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Apr. 14, 2015 at 2:44 AM

That is great news

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