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Can I vent? about death and afterlife etc.

Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies
This January, a good lifelong friend of mine lost his battle w HIV. He was 29.

Now im gonna be 30 in a few days and a good portion of our friends are younger (28, 25) and there are some older.

My friend was amazing. I wont sit here and tell ya he was a saint, cause he wasn't, but he would do anything for anyone, wouldnt hurt a fly, not a mean bone in his body. Befriended anyone and made you feel like your were the shit.

He was one the EMS team, fire fighter, worked in the ER, had SN siblings (all passed now, may they RIP) and was always including them.

Well, we have this 1 friend. Shes.... 26? Hasnt lost many friends, thank god, but she feels that EVERYTHING is our friend.

That cardinal? Must be him. At his funeral, the sun hit the chandelier and cast rainbows all over. Oh thats him. You found a pennie on the floor? He left it. Every. Effing. Fb. Pic she sees? Reminds her of him. Oh she was sad and a happy song came on? Thanks dude! This snow storm? He loved snow! (Not really. He was always cold and him and I would bitch about the weather haha) shes constantly on his FB going on about it. Then she will text me about it.

I get we all process loss different, but dang. I miss him too, as does the rest of our circle.

I hate to tell her to STFU cause thats mean but its getting to that point. Her BF even said the same thing.

Tell me this wouldnt annoy you.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 4, 2015 at 10:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 4, 2015 at 10:17 AM

It'd probably annoy me. But I also understand that people have different ways of grieving and I'd try to be as supportive as I could. Or hang out with her less. Telling her to STFU for grieving shouldn't be an option.

by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 10:20 AM
Sorry for your loss. Its only been a couple of months..give her a lil time..
by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 10:21 AM
1 mom liked this

It would'nt bother me. This is how she is processing it. I would just allow her to feel how ever she feels about it and not say anything.

by Ruby Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 10:22 AM

Nope it wouldn't annoy me everyone really does deal with things differently, one way is no better than another.  I do not let things like that bother me.

by Mad Martigan on Mar. 4, 2015 at 10:22 AM
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She's actually dealing with it in a healthy way.

Feeling hope after death is a lot better than feeling depressed. Let her be.

by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 4, 2015 at 10:23 AM
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If that's the way she copes with loss, then no it would not annoy me. My moms friends DH died several years ago. She still misses him dearly. When she's having a bad day, suddenly, out of nowhere, a white feather always seems to slowly fall from above her. It always comes right in front of her face. This happens in places where one would not expect to see feathers like in the Library, at the grocery store, at the Drs office even while sitting inside her car. She has saved all of these feathers and has over 200 of them. Whenever she sees one of these feathers, she gets a strong sense of peace and is able to keep going. One night, shortly after he died, she planned to kill herself. She was sitting in her bath with the tub full of water. She was going to drown herself. Suddenly, a feather started floating down from her bathroom ceiling. She caught it before it hit the water. She felt peace and went ahead and took her bath and then went to bed. She slept more soundly than she ever has before. She also never again had the desire to kill herself after that night either.
by Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 10:25 AM
It's her way of would not annoy me. Be patient.
by Platinum Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 10:29 AM
I get what you're saying about being annoyed and you're not wrong. However, like others have said it's her way of coping and she has that right. I would suggest just letting her go in one ear and out the other. Just ignore her without being snarky or ugly.
by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 10:53 AM

I think you all sound like rays of sunshine. Regardless of how she truly feels and etc. let her be, she isn't causing harm and it's her way of grieving, the guy just died 2 months ago, it's still pretty fresh.

by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 4, 2015 at 1:21 PM

Yes,it would annoy the hell out of me,but I would just grin and bear it.It may be something she needs to do in order to deal with his death.Allow her that.

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