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I am not sure what to say to her. It breaks my heart.

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 11:48 AM
  • 10 Replies

I have a sister who is 54. She is mentally handicapped and has various other health issues. My mom and dad are deceased so my sisters and I look after her.(She does have her own apartment and a small part time job.)

Last Friday night she called me crying hysterically. Once I calmed her down(it took about 10 minutes) she said she had thrush from her inhaler and she was having a hard time breathing, swallowing, eating, sleeping etc. I took her to the ER and when they were doing her vitals she was telling them about her symptoms, then she broke down and said, she didn't want to fall asleep and not wake up. 

I knew at that moment she was having a panic attack. Friday was the 4th anniversary of my mom dying in her sleep.

I spoke to the dr. that was helping her. I told her about my mom. 

Anyhow, they gave her Ativan to help calm her. Once calm she asked me, why am I being punished? I love my sisters, I just wish I wasn't the stupid one. It broke my heart. Yesterday on the phone she asked me again, why was it me that was born this way? 

I wish my mom was here to help her. She always knew what to say. 

by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 11:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Mar. 4, 2015 at 11:50 AM

 This is so sad. I am glad you were there for her.

Bella_Morte13
by Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 11:50 AM

Wow. im very sorry to hear about this. I would just conctantly reassure her that shes ment to be here and shes special in her own way. Point out her good qualitys, and things she does well. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 4, 2015 at 11:51 AM

Oh, that's really sad.  I'm so sorry.  Thank you for being there for her though and being patient, and helping and loving her.  Thank you so much and sending you both hugs. 

crying mini

SPNpudding
by Platinum Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 11:52 AM

I'd have no idea what to say either. ((hugs)) Bump!

young_lv_mom
by Gold Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 11:53 AM
Just let her know she is the way she is because she has shown your family how to truly love, how everyone is wonderful no mater how they may seem. The. Think of some things you love about her that are off and let her know if it were not for her you never would have learned all that. It's sad but I think she just need to know she is loved and not just a burden.
Talienas
by Platinum Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 11:56 AM
This right here.

You sould like a wonderful sister! Hugs!

Quoting young_lv_mom: Just let her know she is the way she is because she has shown your family how to truly love, how everyone is wonderful no mater how they may seem. The. Think of some things you love about her that are off and let her know if it were not for her you never would have learned all that. It's sad but I think she just need to know she is loved and not just a burden.
km1970
by Platinum Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 11:58 AM
1 mom liked this

She just had all of her teeth removed and is awaiting dentures once her gums heal. She doesn't like to go out into public very much. I think I will take some lunch over and sit with her awhile. She loves putting together puzzles, maybe we can work on one together today.

Quoting Talienas: This right here. You sould like a wonderful sister! Hugs!
Quoting young_lv_mom: Just let her know she is the way she is because she has shown your family how to truly love, how everyone is wonderful no mater how they may seem. The. Think of some things you love about her that are off and let her know if it were not for her you never would have learned all that. It's sad but I think she just need to know she is loved and not just a burden.


wrensong
by Pagan Mother on Mar. 4, 2015 at 11:59 AM

Im so sorry to hear this. Just reaassure her that she is a bautiful person. Point out the positives in her life. Let her know how much she means to you. Hopefully soon this will pass

NellieKane
by Gold Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 12:01 PM

I think all you can do is reassure her that she is loved.  And, she may still have a lot of grief over your mom's passing.

owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Mar. 4, 2015 at 12:02 PM
I'm so sorry. Just be there for her and tell her how much she means to you.
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