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In the delivery room...wwyd?

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 3:28 PM
  • 4 Replies
I am pregnant. I an single and due in July. Some of you already know that, but it's worth repeating for the newbs or those unfamiliar with my situation. Ok, here's the deal:

I will be having a c-section. The baby's father and I are on decent enough terms, but I don't think he'd be a great birth partner for me. He seems more or less ok with waiting elsewhere.

Here's the toughie: two of my friends have offered to go with me into surgery. My best friend "S" offered first, actually during a separate pregnancy that I miscarried. At that time, we were very close and I was relieved and jumped at her offer. She assumes that this plan is still in effect for this baby.

But we really just aren't that close anymore. We have drifted apart a lot in the past year or so, for many reasons. We still call each other "best friend"...but I think more out of habit than anything. I'm MUCH closer and more comfortable with my other friend who offered. I'd prefer he be there with me.

I'm just not sure how to handle this. I feel like she has "dibs" so to speak. I don't want to END our friendship...but I do think I'd rather have my other friend with me. She's going to be hurt and offended and I'm not sure how to present it in a way that doesn't make her feel that way...

?? Any thoughts?
by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 3:28 PM
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Replies (1-4):
MusherMaggie
by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 3:32 PM
Can you have them both with you?
MichLW69
by PackersXLV4 on Mar. 4, 2015 at 3:32 PM

I would just tell her that while you appreciate her offer, that you've decided to have someone else be in the delivery room. 

That's it. Nothing more. She's not owed a long explanation, but if you feel like giving her one, or if she asks, then tell her you've chosen someone who you think will be a better labor partner. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 4, 2015 at 3:33 PM
It's your birth, you're body is on display and you're going to be uncomfortable. As far as I'm concerned your feelings are the only one's that matter! If you're more comfortable with your other friend then invite only him, if it comes up with "S" just explain how you appreciate that she'd be there for you but you're only allowed one person and you chose him. If she's a good friend she'll be ok with it
strungoutmom
by on Mar. 4, 2015 at 3:52 PM

 I agree with all that the others have said. You want someone with you that you feel totally comfortable with, not someone you feel will just bring on more stress you do not need that while giving birth. 

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