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Would you accept the money?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 287 Replies

Dh is terminallly ill.  Since he found out, he has made a series of terrible financial decisions, including draining both our savings account and the savings account for our children's college.  We fight all the time about money because he wants to pay our basic bills and then spent everything else on himself.  If anyone else wants something, it is a huge fight because he has already mentally spent every extra penny.  If I don't just let him spend it, he throw a fit and says rude and hurtful things, like must be nice to be able to wait for things because you have a tomorrow.  

I'm pretty private about our problems, but a couple of my friends know some of what's going on.  A mutual friend mentioned something of my situation to my exbf.  We haven't spoken for years, but he called me and asked.  I can't say why, but I just spilled out the whole terrible story.  He offered to help me out by sending me money.  He had me open a checking account only in my name, and he wires money to it every week.  We haven't spoken since that day, but every week he puts money into my account.  

On some level it feels wrong to take the money and hide it from dh.  On the other hand, I feels so nice to not fight dh over money.  I let him spend all his and mine, and I spend exbf's on me and the kids.  



Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Sassy762
by 200 on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:24 AM
18 moms liked this

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:25 AM
37 moms liked this
Yes, I'd accept the money and the support. He is very kind and obviously still cares about you. On the other hand, while I understand that your husband is terminal and obviously going through something, it is very irresponsible of him as a husband and father to have spent the savings, especially the children's money. :(
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:25 AM
1 mom liked this
Take the Money
amy1will
by Amethyst on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:26 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree with this.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Yes, I'd accept the money and the support. He is very kind and obviously still cares about you. On the other hand, while I understand that your husband is terminal and obviously going through something, it is very irresponsible of him as a husband and father to have spent the savings, especially the children's money. :(
romalove
by SakePrincess on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:27 AM
5 moms liked this

If this is real, your husband sounds like he's having mental issues, perhaps due to his illness, perhaps due to medications from the illness.  Either way I'd be talking to his doctors to try and get that in check.

The reason I said "if this is real" is because the rest of this is crazypants.  I can't respond to such nuttiness.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:28 AM
I would take it. So sorry about your husband.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:29 AM

Very much my life.  DH drinks heavily to cope with the fact that he's dying.

Quoting romalove:

If this is real, your husband sounds like he's having mental issues, perhaps due to his illness, perhaps due to medications from the illness.  Either way I'd be talking to his doctors to try and get that in check.

The reason I said "if this is real" is because the rest of this is crazypants.  I can't respond to such nuttiness.


Foolynroo2
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:29 AM
15 moms liked this

I can't imagine getting a terminal diagnosis , but I can't imagine dying and leaving my family destitute either.


TiffanyRose06
by Queso<3 on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:29 AM
25 moms liked this
put the money you make in there too

being that sick is no reason to make his family suffer financially

Im so very sorry you're dealing with this (hugs)
beans13
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:29 AM
8 moms liked this
Does he have life insurance? Will you be financially secure when he passes? Does his illness affect his brain? It sounds very selfish of him but maybe he is not thinking clearly. I cannot imagine my Dh doing this. He would be so worried about leaving money for dd and I when he goes.
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