Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

DH wants to move his mom in when

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 403 Replies

 she can't take care of herself any longer.

I have no desire to care for her. I don't want to cater to her every whim. I don't like her and when DH is at work I don't want to be in trouble because I didn't tend to her. I say if she is in a spot where she can't take care of herself that she goes to a nursing home. DH won't be taking care of her it would me me. I have 4 children and don't want an over grown child in my home I need to worry about and feed, clothe, etc. Find a sitter for. When our children leave the house that is it. I only want to tend to things I want to tend to not things that DH wants me to tend to.

Am I wrong here?

I thought that if he plans on leaving me wit her (he will work from 5AM to  8PM) I will call and drop her off in a state funded nursing home. I don't think I should have to care for a human being I have no connection to, nor would I want to care for her.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 15, 2015 at 1:08 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
LyTe684
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 1:12 PM
15 moms liked this
I personally wouldn't do it, as I don't get along with my MIL.

I believe that if you feel this strongly about it, you shouldn't do it and he shouldn't try to convince you to.
angl_gurl1
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 1:13 PM

tell him no

lalalamama
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 1:14 PM
You obviously have to both agree. How far off in the future is this?
MichLW69
by PackersXLV4 on Mar. 15, 2015 at 1:15 PM
8 moms liked this
If he wants to move her in, then HE needs to care for her.
MonarchMom22
by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 1:15 PM
2 moms liked this

If this is how you feel, you need to let DH know.  Why not look into home health aides and make an alternate plan?  

There are a lot of agencies and private providers who will start out doing a few mornings a week of light cleaning, laundry and meal prep, errands, etc.  Then as the person needs more help, they can provide bathing and personal care as well. This lets the client get used to the care-giver, and adjust to accepting help in the home.

Does she have long-term care insurance?  That might be the best first step to take.  Then you have a way to fund whatever personal care she will need.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 15, 2015 at 1:16 PM

 Thats what Im saying. He says

"but that is my mom"

Great, HIS mom. He can wipe her ass if needed. When she use to be here she expected that she be catered to. He did it when he would walk in the door she would say I need to go here or there. She wouldn't offer gas for the car either. But she expected these things. She only forked up 150 a month when she would clearly go thru more in bills than that. This is the difference between what we paid before she arrived.

Quoting LyTe684: I personally wouldn't do it, as I don't get along with my MIL. I believe that if you feel this strongly about it, you shouldn't do it and he shouldn't try to convince you to.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 15, 2015 at 1:17 PM

 He thinks in th enear future~

Quoting lalalamama: You obviously have to both agree. How far off in the future is this?

 

Keara20
by Ruby Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 1:17 PM
Noooooooo way. Shit if my mil moved in Dh would be the first out the door, he can't stand his mom.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 15, 2015 at 1:18 PM

 I have asked him if he intends on quitting his job to tend ot her. He says no. I told him she would suffer. I have no desre to cater to his mom. Plus I also asked him what about his sister. Why wouldn't she be able to tke him in. Well his sister is messed up! :( She isn't stable. We are so we should suffer.

Quoting MichLW69: If he wants to move her in, then HE needs to care for her.

 

PhantomRose88
by Ruby Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 1:18 PM
6 moms liked this

You wouldn't have your husband if it wasnt for her.  Have you told your husband how you felt?  Mine would be heartbroken if I told him what you just said.   

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)