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never speaking to a parent again after a relapse?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies
sad situation

aunt claire was an alcoholic for most of her kid's childhoods. When my cousin Tara was 10, her mom got clean and sober after Tara had written in her diary that she hated her mom, cried herself to sleep every night wondering why she couldn't have a real mommy and generally was sad. My aunt checked herself into rehab the next day and was sober for 8 years.

When Tara was 18, she was leaving to go to college. Her dad left my aunt two days before the anniversary of her stillborn son being born. Tara came home to her mom passed out drunk on the porch. The next morning, she was drinking a spiked oj and Tara noticed. She packed her stuff, left and hasn't spoken to her mom since.

Again my aunt checked herself into rehab a few days later and has been trying to make amends for 8 years. Tara just had a baby boy and she obviously won't allow her mom around him. Whenever anyone has tried to bring it up she snottily says we have no idea what it was like growing up with an alcoholic mom, and she's brought my mom to tears, screaming at her, asking why she never called cps or anything to "save" her when my mom tried to talk to her.

What do you think? Is this too much punished for a one time relapse or is she justified? Personally I'd never treat my mom that way over a disease
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 15, 2015 at 4:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 15, 2015 at 5:09 PM
1 mom liked this
She selfishly put her daughter through hell the first 10 years of her life. Her daughter doesn't owe her the chance to do it again and again.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 15, 2015 at 5:10 PM
1 mom liked this
Her choice. Have you ever lived with an alcoholic? It's horrible and I don't blame her
AngelSinger
by MS Warrior on Mar. 15, 2015 at 5:12 PM
1 mom liked this
Her daughter has the right to feel this way. The rest of you need to stay out of it, unless you want to recommend Al-Anon to her. Once.
Hubris_Huntsman
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 5:12 PM
2 moms liked this

She's not necessarily punishing her mom as much as protecting herself and her child.  I don't blame her.

And why didn't your mom call CPS or take effective steps to save her?

JaneSmith123
by Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 5:15 PM
1 mom liked this

Alcoholism may be a disease, but it is one that poisons everyone around it. It is nobodies responsibility to put up with that. Cutting her mother out is totally justified.

And she is right on the money asking your mother why she never called CPS when she was being neglected/abused. I would want an answer to that too.

MichLW69
by PackersXLV4 on Mar. 15, 2015 at 5:19 PM
2 moms liked this

Her daughter set boundaries. Your aunt didn't abide by them and her daughter is done.

**So, it was: older daughter/little brother. Then daughter/mother. Then daughter/mother & father. Now it's aunt/cousin?

quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 5:20 PM
1 mom liked this

so,your family sat around and watched an alcoholic destroy a childs life,did nothing and now blame said child that they want out of that mess..

feminista
by Silver Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 5:20 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it's almost always "justified". Children don't walk away from parents just to be spiteful - it's a hard decision and you carry it with you.

You will never know what it was like for her as a small child with an alcoholic mother and if - a decade later - one slip up is enough to send her packing, then you can assume it was pretty horrible.

You are obviously thinking that the mother is a victim of circumstance in all this, but if that's true then her daughter is also and deserves as much (if not more) of your sympathy and understanding.

katydid150
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 5:21 PM
1 mom liked this
She has the right to keep a toxic lush out of her life. I'm curious, why didn't anyone else in the family try to help her?
scarletmeshell
by Platinum Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 5:24 PM

Good grief, how many of these are you going to come up with?

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