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I'M NOT FORCING HER TO CALL YOU DAD!!!!!!

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:16 PM
  • 12 Replies
My dd is almost 7. Her dad and I broke up five years ago. We were living a few states away from our home. My family came and got us Because my daughter and I had no friends or family And I had been a stay at home mom. He could have came back and got his old job back so he could be in her life. Instead he chose to stay with a married woman. Over the last five years, I've fought long and hard to keep them in contact. He went to jail for stealing over 50 guns and was already a felon. He put his car off a 30 foot embankment because he was drunk. He was in the hospital for a long time. I still had them tali even though she couldn't understand a word he said because of neurological damage. At one point, he owed 7500 in back support. At one point, he went six months with no contact. He's only seen her once. He said he'd help pay for cheer so I signed her up Just to have him tell me the day he was supposed to send a check to the cheer gym that he changed his mind. I figured it or though because I'm a dedicated badass mom!

Now she has taken to calling him by his first name. He blames me. I had nothing to do with that. I've been with my husband going on three years and she started calling him dad after her sister was born. We just went with it. She's old enough to have her own feelings and she's quite more mature than most 7 year oldS.

I don't think it's right to force her to call him dad. That's like forcing your child to hug someone they don't want to hug.
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
smalltownteddy
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:19 PM
2 moms liked this
Kids should never be forced to refer to someone a specific way, in my opinion.
cakklove
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:19 PM
Bump
cakklove
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:21 PM
I agree completely. I'm not one of those new agey parents but I firmly believe that forcing her to call him dad is invalidating her feelings. You know, telling her that her feelings matter as much as his.

Quoting smalltownteddy: Kids should never be forced to refer to someone a specific way, in my opinion.
cakklove
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:22 PM
Bump
lhiannan
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:22 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree-he chose not to maintain a relationship with her.  My 7 year old doesn't even know who his bio dad is.  We separated when he was a little over a year old, and he moved halfway across the country before our son turned 2.  Our now 12 year old doesn't even remember what he looks like, though he was 6 when my ex moved.  My 7 year old refers to dh as dad, which, like you, started after we had our daughter together.  My ex hasn't spoken to our children for 3 1/2 years, and has only spoken to the 7 year old once.  He owes me $25k in back child support (it was higher, but I recently received a $6k check because his federal refund was seized and given to me).

wilky5
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:28 PM
Being a sperm donor doesn't automatically qualify your ex to be Dad. If your DH has earned the title then good for him...
cakklove
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:33 PM
Now he's threatening to take me too court for parental alienation.

Quoting wilky5: Being a sperm donor doesn't automatically qualify your ex to be Dad. If your DH has earned the title then good for him...
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:36 PM
Hahaha tell him you will see him there. He's gonna have to file where you live and travel there for court

Quoting cakklove: Now he's threatening to take me too court for parental alienation.

Quoting wilky5: Being a sperm donor doesn't automatically qualify your ex to be Dad. If your DH has earned the title then good for him...
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:40 PM
I agree children should call their parents bio and step how they feel. My 5 year old ds calls my df dad because df has been there since ds was 2, my exdh wasn't around for a year and a half only reason calls him dad is because he forces him too me and df don't sometimes he will even call me by my first name.
RazzleMySpazz
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:41 PM
You're right.

He's wrong... And a loser

Good luck! :)
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