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Cutting contact with my mom over this?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 30 Replies
I think so.
One of the boys caught and recorded a conversation between one of my girls and my mom. My mom bashed me, Dh, the older boys, and wasn't exactly nice to my 4yr old. She wasn't totally mean to him. Just called him a diaper baby to his face because he's 4 and not fully potty trained. She said some other alarming stuff too. I'm cutting all contact with her. But I can't stop thinking about it all. It's driving me insane.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 16, 2015 at 3:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TaralynnStewart
by Ruby Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 3:54 AM
I'm going to assume she does/did it a lot if your son felt the need to record it. That's a shame, but if my mother was bashing me and my household I would cut my mom off too.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 16, 2015 at 3:55 AM
Cut her out of your life abd let it go. It is not worth dwelling on.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 16, 2015 at 3:58 AM
Yeah it wasn't good. It pissed me off pretty bad. She's always talking about how great we are to our face.

Quoting TaralynnStewart: I'm going to assume she does/did it a lot if your son felt the need to record it. That's a shame, but if my mother was bashing me and my household I would cut my mom off too.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 16, 2015 at 3:59 AM
Similiar thing happened with my mom, I heard her do it first hand, we haven't spoke in two years now, I know her & would've only got worse. All was fine with distance between us, she was decent to the kids but then she moved closer..right into my house since her home foreclosed & then next door a month later. It was too much & intolerable enough was enough no child deserves that ever :(
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 16, 2015 at 3:59 AM
2 major concerns. How I'll deal with my dd. she's really young and I'm hurt. I need to be careful. Then my mom's going to pester the shit out of me when I tell her I'm done with her.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Cut her out of your life abd let it go. It is not worth dwelling on.
TaralynnStewart
by Ruby Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 4:01 AM
Have you confronted your mom?

She seems toxic and you're doing your kids a favor by no longer allowing them near her.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yeah it wasn't good. It pissed me off pretty bad. She's always talking about how great we are to our face.

Quoting TaralynnStewart: I'm going to assume she does/did it a lot if your son felt the need to record it. That's a shame, but if my mother was bashing me and my household I would cut my mom off too.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 16, 2015 at 4:11 AM
I was asleep when this happened. It went on for about 45 min and I heard the recording. Except the parts where she got really quiet so I assume I missed the worst parts. She said something about me sleeping too. I work nights.
How did your mom react when you cut her off? My mom's going to flip. I'm not looking forward to that.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Similiar thing happened with my mom, I heard her do it first hand, we haven't spoke in two years now, I know her & would've only got worse. All was fine with distance between us, she was decent to the kids but then she moved closer..right into my house since her home foreclosed & then next door a month later. It was too much & intolerable enough was enough no child deserves that ever :(
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 16, 2015 at 4:15 AM
Not yet. I haven't had a chance. It just haooened yesterday and once I cooled off and got everything done it was time for me to be at work. I can't deal with her while I'm working.
I agree. She is toxic. She's manipulative and two faced. She favors my oldest dd. which I've called her out on and she somewhat tries to hide it now. But that makes the other kids feel neglected and my dd feel entitled. I don't want that for any of my kids which is my motivation for cutting her out. It has nothing to do with my feelings about her actually. Where I'm hurt is the things my dd said but in trying to remember she's young and was just following suit.

Quoting TaralynnStewart: Have you confronted your mom?

She seems toxic and you're doing your kids a favor by no longer allowing them near her.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yeah it wasn't good. It pissed me off pretty bad. She's always talking about how great we are to our face.

Quoting TaralynnStewart: I'm going to assume she does/did it a lot if your son felt the need to record it. That's a shame, but if my mother was bashing me and my household I would cut my mom off too.
143myboys9496
by Ruby Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 4:29 AM

My mother is passive aggressive, and plays the wilting wallflower when it's convenient for her. 

I should have cut her off when my father made accusations of something my kids 'might' do, which they wouldn't. I didn't talk to her for almost a month. 

It was then that apparently my brother and aunt (her sister) made her realize she was treating me in the same exact way her mother treated her. She had a 'come to Jesus" moment...things got better. They really didn't improve considerably until after I fought with both of them in my garage about blowing us off and how it disappoints my kids. When my father said "oh they were disappointed, really? They're 15 and 17"

I said 'no problem, I'll tell them not to give a shit their grandparents are coming to spend time with them. And you can expect the same in return"

My father and I exchanged a few 'eff you's' and my mother, started with 'oh please stop, this is horrible stop just stop' bawling her eyes out. I was like 'really? YOU started, YOU got him going AND me and NOW YOU can't handle it?"

She's super passive aggressive. This was longer than I intended. I will say to her defense, she's gotten much, much better and our relationship has improved. But the way she (and my dad) treated my kids affects their relationship now. Somehow she thinks 'sorry' will erase 17 and 15 years of being treated like Satan's spawn. (which they're not btw...)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 16, 2015 at 4:35 AM
1 mom liked this
You're fine. That's horrible. I'm glad it's somewhat improved. My mom's always been like this but I actually thought she wouldn't act this way because she cherishes my dd. I should've known. She's extremely manipulative. She tells me what she thinks I want to hear, tries to play me and Dh against each other, then turns around and from what I heard is planting ideas in dd's that when she's sick of us she can go to grandmas. Which will be asap, because mom's talking shit constantly and telling her all the "bad" stuff we do.
My dd is in 2nd grade. She is required to make her own lunch. When my mom has her on a weekend she'll bring her home late Sunday, and make her a lunch or buy her a lunchable, because she doesn't think dd should have to make a lunch. I let little things like that slide and randomly talked about how gross lunchables are. Lol. There's more but that's one example of her manipulative tendencies.

Quoting 143myboys9496:

My mother is passive aggressive, and plays the wilting wallflower when it's convenient for her. 

I should have cut her off when my father made accusations of something my kids 'might' do, which they wouldn't. I didn't talk to her for almost a month. 

It was then that apparently my brother and aunt (her sister) made her realize she was treating me in the same exact way her mother treated her. She had a 'come to Jesus" moment...things got better. They really didn't improve considerably until after I fought with both of them in my garage about blowing us off and how it disappoints my kids. When my father said "oh they were disappointed, really? They're 15 and 17"

I said 'no problem, I'll tell them not to give a shit their grandparents are coming to spend time with them. And you can expect the same in return"

My father and I exchanged a few 'eff you's' and my mother, started with 'oh please stop, this is horrible stop just stop' bawling her eyes out. I was like 'really? YOU started, YOU got him going AND me and NOW YOU can't handle it?"

She's super passive aggressive. This was longer than I intended. I will say to her defense, she's gotten much, much better and our relationship has improved. But the way she (and my dad) treated my kids affects their relationship now. Somehow she thinks 'sorry' will erase 17 and 15 years of being treated like Satan's spawn. (which they're not btw...)

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