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Illegitimate child and choosing their last name

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 24 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Which last name for my son?

Options:

Biological Father's?

My Husbands/ His Step-Dad?

No change - Keep Mother's Maiden Name


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 35

View Results

I have gone back and forth several times and I am still undecided about my child's last name...any advice?

He is 5 years old. His father was involved around years 1-3 but not anymore. His father taught him his last name and expressed an interest in giving child his last name. Child has my maiden name. Father has never signed birth certificate.

He will be starting school in Fall and I want to have it settled once and for all because it's part of who he is and will be.

I have since married and am taking my husbands last name, no hyphen. My child calls my husband daddy.

Is it wrong to give my child husbands last name? Bio dad's last name? Keep maiden name?

I think my husband would be extremely offended if I gave him BIO dad's last name. But I feel like it would be a lie to give my child husbands last name. I do plan to have more children and they would have husbands last name. 

I think for the sake of unity, it should all be the same. But is it a lie? Is this confusing to the child? 

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AnastasiaKorsh
by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:29 PM
Wouldn't you need biodads consent to change your childs last name?
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:29 PM

 Will your husband be adopting your son? Given the info I would go that route if possible, then give your son your husbands last name.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:30 PM
I would leave his name. Unless your husband legally adopted him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:30 PM
1 mom liked this
He has had his current name for all 5 years of his life, I wouldn't change it.
brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:31 PM

If your husband is not adopting him then it should be your maiden name.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:31 PM
Since bio didn't sign the birth certificate, have your dh do it. Then give your son his last name.
thefiregoddess
by MotherDucker on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:33 PM
Really its up to you. My sister changed her name at 21 from her father's to the maternal family last name.

My mother said it was too freakin expensive to do before she was sure. (Nearly 3 grand)

The question is if you and current husband divorce, will he consider child his own? Will his extended family accept he has their last name? Would you continue to keep his last name for yourself?

Rhodin
by Ruby Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:33 PM
Is he in school? Blended families are more common than ever. People won't bat an eye at a kid whose last name is different from his parents. Maybe when he's older, he'll want to change it.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:33 PM
I would leave his name as it is.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:34 PM

Keep his name as is.  No point in changing it. 

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