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I've been set up to look like a heinous witch

Posted by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:11 AM
  • 86 Replies
I'm convinced my MIL does it on purpose. She knows how I am and pushes my buttons even though she knows.

I am an introvert, an OCD neat freak, organization freak and all around perfectionist. Seriously, you could probably eat off my floor. I don't allow clutter anywhere in my home at all. I am highly routined. I am also an early to bed and early to rise person.

So here she comes to spend the weekend every so often. And it's the same thing every time except this time, my FIL came too.

They drag all kinds of crap in my perfect house. I couldn't even get to my coffee bar this morning because they have storage bins full of junk stacked in front of it.

They kept us at Walmart til midnight last night. I refused to go in and I slept in the car while they shopped for more junk to drag into my house.

Everywhere I turn, there are empty soft drink bottles, piles of clothes, chip bags, shoes in the middle of the floor, overnight bags in random places, Walmart bags of crap they bought for the kids that they don't need and won't use, and all the surfaces in my home that are always open with nothing but a candle are now buried.

And they brought their ugly, stupid, fussy little dog. Who brings their dog to someone else's home without asking???

My house was perfect. Now it's trashed and I have to keep smiling and acting like I'm ok with it. It will take me forever to undo the damage when they leave.

As I do my best to clean while they're here, they act like I'm doing something wrong. They tell me to relax and that my house "isn't supposed to be clean because kids live here". Dang it, the kids are the reason the organization is imperative. I'm a peaceful, happy person all the time. Then they show up and don't understand why I don't sit down and relax the whole time they're here. I'm set up to look bad.

I don't know how my husband came from these people.
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
readyforhim
by Emerald Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:18 AM
1 mom liked this

then your husband should speak up, but I would continue to clean around them without making it obvious you want them to go.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:19 AM
2 moms liked this
There's got to be a happy medium between OCD control freak and hoarder slobs. Lol
januaryqueen
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:21 AM
He's so sweet hearted. He is a clean freak also but he loves them so much he won't say anything.

Quoting readyforhim:

then your husband should speak up, but I would continue to clean around them without making it obvious you want them to go.

1L2CMommy
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:21 AM
3 moms liked this
You have alot of labels for yourself. It doesn't sound like your very fun to live with.
STVUstudent
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:21 AM
4 moms liked this

 whoa, relax...

You have convinced yourself that they do this on purpose to make you look bad... how about, they do this on purpose because... it is the way they live.  YOU have a choice to react or not.  You say they come for the weekend "every so often" but what does that look like to you?  Once a month?  Once a quarter? 

I get the highly organized everything in its place mentality- my wife is that way... but for the few days that they are here, take a pill.  If you MUST clean, do so, but do it without the sighs and eyerolls as your vacuum and dust around them.  Seriously, if you need to, retreat to your room for extended periods while they are there so you don't have to see the clutter.  Once they are gone, with their tote bins and Walmart bags and dog, you can snap things back into place.

As for dragging you out to Walmart until midnight, just don't go!

Bailey1116
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:23 AM
1 mom liked this
Why did they bring storage bins to visit?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:23 AM
Holy crap I could have written this. Except the Walmart part. I too can't stand when people come and bring crap and trash the house. My in laws also used to bring their dog like to was acceptable and then tell my dd she couldn't do this and couldn't do that because the dog doesn't like it. Fuck that. We no longer have overnight visitors. My children are young and it was too much stress on me. You need to have a discussion with your DH and come up with some rules that he lays down so your home can remain peaceful and that will allow you to have a better relationship with his parents.
Rhodin
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:24 AM
What does their house look like? If they are trashing your place on purpose, then you need to tell DH that next time they come over, either they or you and the kids will be at a hotel...and it won't be your job to clean.

If their place is a junk heap, then they're probably hoarders and blind to how gross it is to leave chip bags and soda bottles all over the place. I'd insist on some boundaries: No food containers outside the kitchen, all personal belongings must go in the guestroom, etc. If you can contain the clutter a little, then it'll be easier to de-screw the place next week. Maybe place an anon call to their animal control. Even little yappy dogs deserve a clean floor.
Rhodin
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:26 AM
They brought a dog. The dog's stuff is probably in the bins.

Quoting Bailey1116: Why did they bring storage bins to visit?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:29 AM
I agree with you that she may be stretching to say they do it on purpose to set her up. It's probabaly just how they are and has nothing to do with her.

That being said, it's her house and everyone is different. She doesn't need to relax. They need to be respectful. Everyone is different. And for some people having cleanliness and order allows them to be relaxed. If they can't respect this they need to not come and stay. I am the same way as OP and we stopped having over night guests because I couldn't handle it and the in laws couldn't be respectful of me. My house, my rules. So we set boundaries and they no longer spend the night. It allows for us to have a better relationship.

Quoting STVUstudent:

 whoa, relax...



You have convinced yourself that they do this on purpose to make you look bad... how about, they do this on purpose because... it is the way they live.  YOU have a choice to react or not.  You say they come for the weekend "every so often" but what does that look like to you?  Once a month?  Once a quarter? 



I get the highly organized everything in its place mentality- my wife is that way... but for the few days that they are here, take a pill.  If you MUST clean, do so, but do it without the sighs and eyerolls as your vacuum and dust around them.  Seriously, if you need to, retreat to your room for extended periods while they are there so you don't have to see the clutter.  Once they are gone, with their tote bins and Walmart bags and dog, you can snap things back into place.



As for dragging you out to Walmart until midnight, just don't go!

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