Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

He is pushing himself harder into the grave!

Posted by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 9:04 AM
  • 21 Replies
As some of you recall my brother, 33, has stage 3 cancer. This is the second time. He survived stage 4 a few years ago.

Our older brother died at age 30, from the same type of cancer. He had a 90% chance of survival but he refused to stop working. He would do chemo and radiation and then got to work doing roofing.

Now my younger brother is doing the same. He was a plant manager at a Recycling Center. They laid him off so now instead of accepting unemployement, he says that isnt enough money. He is working at a Quarry. Its hard work, long hours. He has ready refused treatment and now he is working himself to death.

DH reminds me that when I had my stroke, I worked from my hospital bed. It's something about my family,my mom was the same,my children are the same. But damnit, he is dying of cancer and he is running instead of relaxing and trying to prolong his life.

I'm so angry but respecting his choices.
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 9:04 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
LaughCryLive
by Emerald Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 9:07 AM
Idiots
Patti-Gee
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 9:08 AM


Quote:

But damnit, he is dying of cancer and he is running instead of relaxing and trying to prolong his life. 

Key word HIS life.   It's hypocritical of you to complain..
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 5, 2015 at 9:08 AM
I'm so sorry. You're all in my thoughts.
jjames1990
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 9:11 AM
I understand it is, but it hurts to see him do it. I dont complain to him. I offer financial assistance, he refuses.

Quoting Patti-Gee:


Quote:But damnit, he is dying of cancer and he is running instead of relaxing and trying to prolong his life. 

Key word HIS life.   It's hypocritical of you to complain..
143myboys9496
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 9:11 AM
1 mom liked this

Like your dh said, it's a family thing. All of you, it would appear from your OP, put work before all else, including your individual health and families. 

Respecting his choice, is hard to do, I respect you for doing that. 

But for you, you can change the cycle and break it so maybe your children don't become 3rd generation work-a-holics. 

I'm sorry about your other brother's passing, and this one's illness. 


jjames1990
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 9:12 AM
Thank you.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm so sorry. You're all in my thoughts.
jjames1990
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you.

I have begun to change it. The last time I got sick (I have Lupus) I took a long leave of absence from work. I went back when I felt well. That was a huge step and my children commented on it. So I hope they will learn to change also.

Quoting 143myboys9496:

Like your dh said, it's a family thing. All of you, it would appear from your OP, put work before all else, including your individual health and families. 

Respecting his choice, is hard to do, I respect you for doing that. 

But for you, you can change the cycle and break it so maybe your children don't become 3rd generation work-a-holics. 

I'm sorry about your other brother's passing, and this one's illness. 

AnonyMinnie
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 9:15 AM

It's not hypocritical at ALL.
And he's her brother, she has every right to be concerned and worried and scared.  

Quoting Patti-Gee:

Quote:But damnit, he is dying of cancer and he is running instead of relaxing and trying to prolong his life. 
Key word HIS life.   It's hypocritical of you to complain..


Kellyjude1
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 9:15 AM

Everyone is different and deals with life differently.  He may work to keep his mind off of things.  So sad.  My thoughts are with you.  Cancer is such a hard thing.  My uncle just passed from cancer.  He was a strong man and kept busy all the time and he fought long and hard, but in the end sadly the cancer took over.  All you can do is be there and be supportive no matter what he chooses.  

jjames1990
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 9:18 AM
I'm sorry for your loss. Ive lost my parents, brother and grandparents all within a few years from it. It shows no mercy.

Quoting Kellyjude1:

Everyone is different and deals with life differently.  He may work to keep his mind off of things.  So sad.  My thoughts are with you.  Cancer is such a hard thing.  My uncle just passed from cancer.  He was a strong man and kept busy all the time and he fought long and hard, but in the end sadly the cancer took over.  All you can do is be there and be supportive no matter what he chooses.  

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)