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Ex making a stink

Posted by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 2:15 PM
  • 11 Replies

My ex (divorced 12 years) has not been speaking with his mom, step-dad or daughter for some time (or his sister, but she's not involved in this current kerfuffle). I am friendly with all of them, consider them to be family, at the same time I am trying not to get involved in the dispute. Our son graduates in June. I asked my ex if he would consider a group celebratory dinner after the grad ceremony, and he says he won't go to an event with his mother or daughter present because they treat him like dirt, blah, blah, blah. He has started making nasty comments, blaming them, in front of our son.

I don't know all the details, but knowing my ex I assume all the problems stem from his stubborness and unwillingness to admit any wrong doing. I am pretty sure he's drinking too much (confirmed by others) which adds to the problem.

I had thought about having his family for dinner the night before the graduation, then have dinner with the ex the night of the ceremony to avoid confrontations.

 I am getting pretty tired of the whole thing. Now that our son is of age I am hoping this will all end in the near future, but I expect every time our son has something to celebrate his dad is going to act like this.

So, what would you do? I kind of feel like telling him to grow up and just have one get together and see what happens.

by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 2:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 5, 2015 at 2:37 PM
2 moms liked this

Why not let your son decide if e wants dad or dad's family.   I personally think the guest of honor should decide who he wants to celebrate with. 

jjames1990
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 2:39 PM
These types of situations is why when we asked my step son what he wanted for graduation, he said nothing. Refused a party and disnt walk across the stage. He didnt want the problems. Ask your son what he really wants and give it to him.
iwicked
by Sugar Magnolia on Apr. 5, 2015 at 2:40 PM
Tell him it's about your son and not him. Ask him to stop acting like a little bitch.
ArwenLives
by Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 2:43 PM


Quoting jjames1990: These types of situations is why when we asked my step son what he wanted for graduation, he said nothing. Refused a party and disnt walk across the stage. He didnt want the problems. Ask your son what he really wants and give it to him.

This is probably what my son would choose. He hates any sort of confrontation. The family wants to celebrate with him. I feel like his dad should just be civil. His family is ready to meet him and make nice for our son's sake.

jjames1990
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 3:06 PM
Defintley ask him then. Its his day. My step son ended up having several small celebrations and loved it.

Quoting ArwenLives:

Quoting jjames1990: These types of situations is why when we asked my step son what he wanted for graduation, he said nothing. Refused a party and disnt walk across the stage. He didnt want the problems. Ask your son what he really wants and give it to him.

This is probably what my son would choose. He hates any sort of confrontation. The family wants to celebrate with him. I feel like his dad should just be civil. His family is ready to meet him and make nice for our son's sake.

katyusha42
by Metal Kitty on Apr. 5, 2015 at 3:25 PM

I wouldn't force them all together since that's just going to make your son uncomfortable. I would just let dad do his thing and plan a get together with everyone else. Invite dad but if he doesn't want to go then don't push it. Dads a big boy and can make his own plans with his son if he chooses not to attend the main celebration. 

DensHag
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 3:28 PM
This...I would tell my ex it's not about him but our DS and if he can't make it, sorry. He needs to grow the hell up and stop being a selfish brat. I can see why he is an ex. What an ass.

Quoting katyusha42:

I wouldn't force them all together since that's just going to make your son uncomfortable. I would just let dad do his thing and plan a get together with everyone else. Invite dad but if he doesn't want to go then don't push it. Dads a big boy and can make his own plans with his son if he chooses not to attend the main celebration. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 5, 2015 at 3:55 PM

I would do one dinner and extend an invite to everyone if he doesn't want to come that's on him. He is a big boy and can arrange a seperate dinner with your kid if he wants to.

TediLee
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 4:00 PM
I would hold the family dinner graduation night and if ex can't be mature then son will see this. Tell him to attend if he wants but if not its up to him to make it up to son. We brought 4 different sides of a family together for my nephews graduation and I got sat across from a lady I hate but we had fun.
ArmyWife112908
by Mrs.Crane on Apr. 5, 2015 at 4:03 PM
This.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Why not let your son decide if e wants dad or dad's family.   I personally think the guest of honor should decide who he wants to celebrate with. 

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