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NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies

...is what my mom always told me. She said it would ruin me if I didn't and that I'd regret the decision for years to come. I couldn't even ask her for birth control - she probably would have disowned me.

Well, being a teenager, I didn't quite care what she had to say on the matter, and I had sex with my boyfriend of six months (as safely as we could without birth control - used a condom) shortly after my fifteenth birthday - I was a freshman, he was a junior and 17 at the time. We are now happily married with two young kids.

So no, sex before marriage does not "ruin" you, and while it can be a regretful decision, the regret can come at any age and not necessarily just because you're young.

Not trying to bash anyone if your views are no sex before marriage, just trying to dispel this belief that I hear all too often that it is ruinous any time before matrimony.

And just curious - what age do you think is "too young" to lose your virginity, if you think there is an age that is too young?

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 5, 2015 at 6:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 5, 2015 at 6:30 PM
I realise this is going to sound incredibly shallow but I don't think I could marry someone if I hadn't slept with them.

I lost my virginity at 15 I thought I was in love. I wasn't.
ZPK
by Bronze Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 6:30 PM
That's how my mom was too. I actually tried to ask for birth control even though I knew she would be furious. She told me no.
ashellbell
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 6:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I think "purity" is a horrible concept that ties a woman's self worth to their vagina. We don't teach wait until marriage, we've taught "wait until you're ready". There's an open dialogue when it comes to sex, my dd knows I will never judge or fault her when she decides to have sex.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 5, 2015 at 6:32 PM

I agree completely with you. We have taught the same thing, and I am very open about it with my daughters.

Quoting ashellbell: I think "purity" is a horrible concept that ties a woman's self worth to their vagina. We don't teach wait until marriage, we've taught "wait until you're ready". There's an open dialogue when it comes to sex, my dd knows I will never judge or fault her when she decides to have sex.


iwicked
by Sugar Magnolia on Apr. 5, 2015 at 6:32 PM
1 mom liked this
My philosophy was like zenith television commercials back in the day:

The quality goes in before the name goes on.
Momniscient
by Emerald Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 6:32 PM
This.

Quoting ashellbell: I think "purity" is a horrible concept that ties a woman's self worth to their vagina. We don't teach wait until marriage, we've taught "wait until you're ready". There's an open dialogue when it comes to sex, my dd knows I will never judge or fault her when she decides to have sex.
mommytoeandb
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 6:32 PM
DH and I waited for marriage at 21 & 23. I wanted to finish my college education before there was any possibility of pregnancy. I think you are too young if you are not ready for the possible consequences.
CaptD2
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 6:33 PM
Meh, I waited until marriage. I have a very healthy sex life with my DH and will be teaching my son's the importance of waiting until marriage. That being said, I want very much for them to feel comfortable coming to me about things like sex and hormones without fear of them being judged or met with anger.
ashellbell
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 6:35 PM
That's horrible. My aunt did that with her daughter. She thought that putting her on birth control would make her daughter think it was ok to have sex. After she had an abortion, I took her for birth control. Smh.

Quoting ZPK: That's how my mom was too. I actually tried to ask for birth control even though I knew she would be furious. She told me no.
JoanahLee
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 6:36 PM

I think as long as everyone is ready, truly consenting and at least 16 its not a big deal.   I also think that anyone under 19-20 and especially anyone who is 16,17 or 18 should have a partner that is pretty close in age.  A 16 and 17 year old making an informed and responsible decision to have sex is fine in most circumstances, imho.  A 36 year old having sex with a 17 year old is pretty skeezy. 

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