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Don't know what to do with my life....anyone else?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
It's been a long rough road and I'm just tired. Physically tired. On the surface it looks good. Struggled as a single mother and worked towards my own business. I have two great teens from my previous marriage, a beautiful toddler from my current marriage, a nice home,car and so forth. But I'm not happy.

There are many contributing factors. I grew up in an abusive home. Grew up in an abusive religion where I never felt good enough and married an extremely abusive man. I managed to break away from the dangers of him, my family and that religion and made something of myself. I also met my best friend in all the world.

Over the years ( almost 8) we have had some wonderful times and adventures. We have also had some bumps in the road that involved the Internet, his past GF and him texting people about sexual things.

This has been so hard. Especially with my past and trust issues. I STILL don't feel good enough even when he tells me I am. If I were why in the hell would he do those things?

Not only that we have grown WAY apart since our two year old was born. He is aware that he pushed me away and not only that he became mean on a daily basis. We talked about re connecting. Sex has been pretty much obsolete. It's hard because he falls back into the same pattern of being mean then like this morning when we were waiting for our 2 yr old to get up to see his Easter basket he wanted me to touch him. I was not in the mood at all.

I get suspicious too and I hate it. He is on his phone constantly. And when he leaves I wonder if he is meeting someone. I HATE not trusting!

I feel so alone and confused.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
iwicked
by Sugar Magnolia on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:33 PM
2 moms liked this
Only you can make yourself happy.
bluebunnybabe
by kid crack dealer on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:33 PM
I'm sorry. I hate to go with the same old same old but counseling maybe?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:36 PM
He refuses

Quoting bluebunnybabe: I'm sorry. I hate to go with the same old same old but counseling maybe?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:36 PM
If you're not fucking him, someone is gonna.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:36 PM
I have heard this over and over and I really don't have a clue how to.

Quoting iwicked: Only you can make yourself happy.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:37 PM

I am sorry to hear you are going through this.  Here's a big hug out to you.

iwicked is right.  Only you can make yourself happy.  If you don't like the current situation, then change it.  Follow your heart and listen to your gut feeling.  Life is too short to live miserably.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:37 PM
Well if fucking is at the top of his list then he can fuck off

Quoting Anonymous 2: If you're not fucking him, someone is gonna.
bluebunnybabe
by kid crack dealer on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:38 PM
Go by yourself. As someone else said, only you can make you happy.

Quoting Anonymous 1: He refuses

Quoting bluebunnybabe: I'm sorry. I hate to go with the same old same old but counseling maybe?
readyforhim
by Emerald Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:42 PM

 

you either have to confirm your suspicions and walk away or if nothing is going on, stop and work together - a loveless marriage is not worth staying together for. Counseling for you might be best.

Yami1980
by Bronze Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:28 PM
Sometimes we get use to the person we have next to us and the love and desire goes away.
You mentioned been on an abusive relationship before, do you see the signs coming thru?
Take care of yourself
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