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how do you keep from drifting apart?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 2 Replies
Do you ever feel like no one understands you?

Dh and I have been married for 11 years. Dh has a very decent job that takes care of us and then some. He's a commercial union drywall hanger acting foremen on the jobsite. I am and have been a stay at home mom for the past 9 years. We have 3 boys ages 9,8 and 4 years old. Our 9 year old has asthma and our 8 year old has adhd and odd. They have regular doctor appointments , therapy and meds. My 8 year old is a red 1st in karate, my 8 year old takes piano lessons and my 4 year old does tee ball.

Most nights dh's chair at the dinner table sits empty. His side of the bed sits empty. I feel alone! I'm up to my elbows in bubbly bath watch from washing kiddos, I've done more laundry than is humanly possible for one day, I rack up more miles toting kids from one activity to another.

My dh works 12 to 14 hour days. On days he gets off early he spends his evening helping my dad out in his shop. When he gets home I try to talk to him about what went on at the house that day, let him know what happened at school with the boys or ask him how his day was and he ignores me or just tells me he's tired and had a long day. I try to talk to him before he leaves for work, but he day's he doesn't have time.

On his days off he gets mad because he doesn't know our routine. He sleeps in while I make breakfast and bring it to him in bed. I run him a hot shower and get our kids day started. He doesn't say thank you for breakfast or his shot shower. He tells me how nice I look and grabs my butt. We spend most of the day arguing because he has a short fuse with the kids, gets upset if he doesn't know what the kids like to drink, eat or how they play with certain toys. If I try to help him and give him advice he yells at me for taking the kids side in the situation. At night he plays on his phone and I try to talk to him but he ignores 90% of what I say and then passes out.

he doesn't know things about me most husband's know or should know about their wives. He doesn't know my favorite drink, food, flower, color or tv show. He doesn't know what I do all day or care. He can't tell when I'm upset or happy. He runs around accusing me of being irate and annoyed or crabby all the time. Mainly because I don't do or say what he thinks I should.

I just feel like we are drifting apart!
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:48 PM
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Replies (1-2):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:51 PM
:(
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:58 PM
Wow I am sorry your going through this. Go on strike. Don't do his showers do not make breakfast for him don't do his lundry Etc. And maybe he will realize that you haven't done anything and would start helping. With his attitude should not fly like that in the house around the kids and or at them. He needs help with that.

But other then that not sure what else to say.
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