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The father of my son...

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 12:16 PM
  • 4 Replies
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry you walked out on us. I'm sorry you believe it's my fault. I'm sorry I drop everything for you and drive over 100 miles so you can spend a few hours with our son. I'm sorry I don't feel like that is any inconvenience. I'm sorry he's hyper and bored easily. I'm sorry that I'm the one that made him that way. I'm sorry for asking you for help to buy him clothes or school supplies and I'm sorry for assuming that would be important to you as it is for me. I'm sorry you are a constant dissapointment in our lives. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for trying to be a good mommy and I'm sorry for trying my best to foster a convenient relationship between you and our son without prejudice of our past relationship. I'm sorry. I promise that I will build shelter in my heart for our son to go when his feelings are hurt by you. I promise to build confidence in him without prejudice of your absence and inconsistency in his life. I promise to share with our son my ever forgiving heart and that it's not your fault you can't be here to see him grow and pride in his success. One day he will forgive you. I forgive you. One day he will be a man and my heart will no longer break for you and all that you have missed. Our son is my everything and I will forever build him up with or without you. One day he will thank me despite what I am unable to afford for him and struggle to provide. With confidence I can say I will never blame you. When he seeks answers I will guide him to find them with you. I will do this all because once I saw in you what our son hopes for. Once you had a heart you held us in. Though you walk beside the devil in his disasters of addiction I still have faith and hope for you that you will find your way. I still pray that you will overcome this disease and I will share in your joy and accomplishment. Despite how utterly alone you have made us feel we will always love you. Though we live our lives and do our best to see things through without you, there is not a moment that passes by when you are not thought of. There is no event to be had where your presence is not to be missed.

I lost a friend to addiction. My son lost a parent. Addiction is a disease.
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 12:16 PM
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Replies (1-4):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 10, 2015 at 12:19 PM

Get a journal.

Welcome to CM.

ame85
by Chemistry cat on Apr. 10, 2015 at 12:19 PM
1 mom liked this
At some point, you have to distance yourself from him. If he wants to work on addiction recovery it has to come from him.

I hope everything works out.
hippymum_2
by New Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 12:25 PM
Today I realized that. Today I will stop putting my life on hold. I will not make him be responsible for anything. That is a choice he can make on his own. But today I apologize and I move on knowing I'm doing it with a heart full of love and hope.

Quoting ame85: At some point, you have to distance yourself from him. If he wants to work on addiction recovery it has to come from him.

I hope everything works out.
AnonyMinnie
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 12:28 PM

That sucks, sorry.

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