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Why are abusers the way they are?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 43 Replies
Has anyone ever sat down with an abuser, someone who physically or emotionally abuses their spouse, and actually asked them why they do what they do?

Has an abuser ever sat down and said, " I treated my wife that way for years because..."

I'm curious as to what the perspective of the abuser is. Do they know they're being horrible? Do they like it? Do they feel any remorse? Do they feel justified? Do they think the victim deserves it? Is it a conscious choice or something they feel they can't control?
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
DallasCowboys81
by Don't live in Texas! on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:12 PM
I was abused by my exdh. I did ask him why he did that to me, he said it was because he had it done to him during his childhood. I left him way before I asked him. But I think allot of people prob do it for that reason.
3PurrfectAngels
by BritBrat on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:14 PM
You will get different answers from different abusers
It was done to me
They deserved it
What are you talking about
They like it

Ect..
Retrokitty
by Jasmyne on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:16 PM
1 mom liked this
Almost always it is following the cycle, mental health issues, and or addiction.

Thus why punitive measures rarely work. It's about getting to the root of the issue.
o.O....
by Cara on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:16 PM
1 mom liked this
The book "Why Does He Do That" was very enlightening for me
theResidentCat
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:18 PM
Why are some bitches -bitches?
owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:18 PM
Read the book "Why Does He Do That?" it was written by Lundy Bancroft who has been counseling abusive men for over 20 years. He has never seen an abuser truly change. All victims of abuse need to read this book.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:22 PM
What does that have to do with this post??

Quoting theResidentCat: Why are some bitches -bitches?
momngram
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:24 PM

They need power and control.

Saphira1207
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:26 PM

There are better places that CM to find the answer to this.

JENNlEPEPSl
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:26 PM

Ive asked my xDh before. 

he says 'i dont know' 

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