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If you are married to a guy who is not your child's biological parent....

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:46 PM
  • 114 Replies
What age did you tell your child? I met my DH when my DD was 13 months old. He is all she knows as a father. DD's sperm donor hit me in the stomach on purpose when I was 3 months pregnant and told me to get an abortion. So I left him. Then I met this amazing guy. We've been married for 7 years. I just don't know when to tell her. She is 8 years old now. Just looking for advice. Thank you. :)
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:48 PM
my son is two so I think he's still to small but I'm thinking around 10 it just really depends on when i think he's old enough to understand .
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:48 PM
It seems like it should have come up by now.
that_girl_kk
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:49 PM
They were old enough when their father and split up that they knew he wasn't their bio dad. We aren't married but he's basically the one raising them.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:49 PM

Tell her asap.  Gently and age appropriately, but tell her now.  My kids are adopted and have always known....We never had a big reveal because it has been a rolling conversation since they were infants.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:51 PM
Dd was a little over a year old and she's always known.
Amy_M
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:51 PM
1 mom liked this

My son was old enough to know the difference, but if I were in your situation I would have let her no before now.  Since you have waited this long I wouldn't wait much longer.

zombieskayer
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:51 PM

You should probably tell her now, I met my SO when DS was 3 about to turn 4 and SO is all hes known as a father as my sperm donor threatened to kill us so we left. But since day 1 I have just had him call my SO by his name. If one day he decides to call him dad thats his choice but I think it would probably be best to tell her now. 

mistie900
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:52 PM
You should have told her a long time ago. Now it will be a big deal for her. I would tell her asap.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:52 PM
My 29 year old friend still doesn't know. I don't think they plan to ever tell her.
owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:52 PM
In my situation my ex-husband is very much involved in our son's life so he already knows that my fiancé isn't his dad.
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