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Weird fears when expecting a second child

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 10:09 PM
  • 20 Replies

Did you experience any weird fears when expecting your second child?

I have a lot...  

What if I forget how to do it?

What if ds thinks I don't love him as much?

What if I like one kid more than the other?

What if I am the reason ds has autism, maybe I did something wrong as he developed?  Will this baby have autism too?

How am I going to manage a newborn, a toddler and a 9yr old?



that on top of these fears:

what if my cousin changes her mind and decides to keep the baby?

What if the baby grows up to hate me because I'm not her biological mother?

What if my cousin ends up hating me?

Will this baby be accepted by everyone in the family, or shunned because of the circumstances?


Please tell me I'm not crazy for thinking this stuff??  



by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 10:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
chickensmommy
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 10:13 PM
Normal fears. You did not cause your child's autism. Don't ever think that !
catcameback1
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 10:15 PM

I had this same fear when I started watching my nephew.  I felt like if he started showing signs of autism, it must be the way that I'm taking care of the kids that's to blame.  

Probably not my most rational line of thinking, I admit.


Quoting chickensmommy: Normal fears. You did not cause your child's autism. Don't ever think that !


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 10, 2015 at 10:15 PM
Normal fears. I am terrified to have another baby, because dd has autism and can be so difficult. I'm afraid that I'd the next baby isn't typical, I won't be able to handle it.
wkukid
by Beach Bum on Apr. 10, 2015 at 10:15 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm concerned I won't be able to give both proper attention. Or that my daughter will resent me or her brother.
catcameback1
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 10:17 PM

I worry about the resentment too, but I think that initially there may be some, but it goes away.  When I started watching my nephew it was hard, ds resented it, but now they adore each other.

Quoting wkukid: I'm concerned I won't be able to give both proper attention. Or that my daughter will resent me or her brother.


Elyce225
by Emerald Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 10:17 PM


All very normal.

My first and second have different biological fathers.  I cried literal tears because I didn't think #2 was going to be as cute as #1.  I was so worried that I wouldn't love him as much.  It was just me and my first son for 7 years so we were, well are, very close.  They are 7 years apart.  I thought I wouldn't remember how to take care of a newborn/infant/toddler etc.  

It was all fine.  As soon as I held my second all of that went away.  And out of all 5 of our children he is our cutest, lol.

the_dude
by abides on Apr. 10, 2015 at 10:18 PM
1 mom liked this

It's all completely normal, we as humans, doubt ourselves, but when it comes down it, the world never gives us more than we  can handle. 

I'm sure you'll do fantastically, just take everything as it comes. 

catcameback1
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 10:19 PM
1 mom liked this

maks sense, thanks :)

Quoting the_dude:

It's all completely normal, we as humans, doubt ourselves, but when it comes down it, the world never gives us more than we  can handle. 

I'm sure you'll do fantasitcally, just take everything as it comes. 


sarbear8508
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 10:19 PM
1 mom liked this
You're definitely not crazy. The baby won't hate you because you're not it's biological mom rest assure on that one.

I used to be terrified I couldn't possibly love my 2nd as much as my first love (dd). But all of those fears melted away when I held him and bonded with him. Now being pregnant with my 3rd, those fears are resurfacing. I'm hoping they go away sooner this time.
Tay06
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 10:20 PM
I'm afraid my first child will hate my second.
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