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I need serious potty training advice

Posted by on May. 5, 2015 at 12:13 AM
  • 22 Replies

My son is almost six years old. He is intellectually disabled and far behind for his age. He still wears diapers. We have been trying since he was three to potty train, but it just seemed that he wasn't understanding his body's cues that he needed to go. He doesn't do the normal squatting or hiding when he has to go, it just happens as he goes about whatever he is doing. Between school and home, we have been trying everything.


I just had his IEP meeting last week, and I found out that he is now starting to go to the bathroom at school. The thing is that he will only approach a male staff member to take him to the bathroom. That's GREAT! He still has accidents, but at least there is some progress. I was so excited because I can figure a way to work around that with my older son and my husband (when he isn't at work). Anyways, he has no interest in going for either of them. We have been doing sticker charts, let him pick out underwear, and rewards and pulling out all of the stops to try to get him to go, but he won't do it.


We set a timer to go into the bathroom every few hours to attempt to go, but he won't do it at all. He starts having meltdowns and nothing gets accomplished. I just don't know what to do. He will be six in just a few weeks and I would love for him to be out of diapers. Sometimes it seems like he will be in them forever.


I don't know if anyone else has had this issue or knows anyone that has. I would appreciate any advice or tips that might help. I have tried every thing that I can think of to try to get him to go in the toilet. I am prepared for the ones that will inevitable bash me for having an older child in diapers, so say what you need to say. I am just trying to find new ideas to try.


Also, before it is suggested, I WILL NOT EVER punish him over not using the toilet. IF anyone could please give some good advice, I would great appreciate it.

by on May. 5, 2015 at 12:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
WemblyFraggle
by Ruby Member on May. 5, 2015 at 12:17 AM

I have nothing but hugs for you.  Im just here to get tips as well

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 5, 2015 at 12:19 AM
Maybe commando potty training? No diaper , no pants. Make him sit on the potty every 30 minutes meltdown or no meltdown.
momof2boy2girl
by Valerie on May. 5, 2015 at 12:21 AM


Quoting WemblyFraggle:

I have nothing but hugs for you.  Im just here to get tips as well

Thank you. His older siblings are potty trained and were potty trained at appropriate ages, so I've had several different ways that have worked. All three older kids were successful with different methods. I have ready every blog post and parenting book I can find. i have talked withhis teachers, his therapists, his doctors. Nothing so far has worked, except foe him having the male staff at school take him.

3companytoo
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2015 at 12:22 AM

I don't know if it would work for your son since he's older but we had a "potty party" for our kids. One Saturday we ditched the diapers and decorated a little and had TONS of beverages. I'm pretty strict with juices and sodas but let them have whatever they wanted. Of course they had to use the bathroom a lot bcause they were chugging liquids. Everytime they went we acted like we won the lottery and celebrated. When they were finished they could pick something special out out the prize bag (think dollar store items). They were pretty much trained after that. Just a few accidents here and there.

Good luck with your son. He just may need a bit more time.

momof2boy2girl
by Valerie on May. 5, 2015 at 12:23 AM


Quoting Anonymous 1: Maybe commando potty training? No diaper , no pants. Make him sit on the potty every 30 minutes meltdown or no meltdown.

We've tried that. He will just poop or pee while he is doing whatever he does. We've tried to get him to pee on trees ourtside. It doesn't work. Thank you for the suggestion, though. I really appreciate you taking the time to make it.

the_dude
by abides on May. 5, 2015 at 12:24 AM
If anyone bashes you, that's just... gah! Unspeakable. They better not.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 5, 2015 at 12:24 AM
Sorry. Have you tried a behavioral therapist for his bathroom issues ? Or making him clean himself after going in his pants? That may work.

Quoting momof2boy2girl:

Quoting Anonymous 1: Maybe commando potty training? No diaper , no pants. Make him sit on the potty every 30 minutes meltdown or no meltdown.

We've tried that. He will just poop or pee while he is doing whatever he does. We've tried to get him to pee on trees ourtside. It doesn't work. Thank you for the suggestion, though. I really appreciate you taking the time to make it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 5, 2015 at 12:29 AM
I'm sorry I don't have advice- but hugs to you!
momof2boy2girl
by Valerie on May. 5, 2015 at 12:29 AM

Yes, he sees one at school. WE found out at the beginning of the school year that he was afraid of tornadoes (he has made huge progress in the last year with speaking so he can finally communicate with us). AT our old house, we used to take shelter in the bathroom during tornado warnings. He was only two when the Joplin tornado hit, but it did scare him quite a bit and I think some of the fear was assosiated with the bathroom.

We started a sticker chart to work through his fear of the bathroom. His first goal was to just walk into the bathroom, then walk to the toilet and look at it, then pull down his pants and sit on it, but only recently has he started going at school.


His fear of the bathroom doesn't kick in with bathing or tooth brushing though. Only with using the toilet. BUT, that has completely disappeared. Now, when we try to get him to go he just shakes his head and says, " NO, no, no." He even does that if one of the female aids at the school takes him in.


Right now, I have my older son and my husband taking him in there to try to get him to go and he won't do it for them.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Sorry. Have you tried a behavioral therapist for his bathroom issues ?
Quoting momof2boy2girl:

Quoting Anonymous 1: Maybe commando potty training? No diaper , no pants. Make him sit on the potty every 30 minutes meltdown or no meltdown.

We've tried that. He will just poop or pee while he is doing whatever he does. We've tried to get him to pee on trees ourtside. It doesn't work. Thank you for the suggestion, though. I really appreciate you taking the time to make it.


Poosaloosa
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2015 at 12:31 AM
I tell everyone to get the potty monkey toy that Dr developed. It's pretty cheap on ebay. And kids then think potty training is fun. Plus the Doctor wrote a book he sends with it that really has good tips. I bought it and passed it on to nieces and nephews, currently it is training the 5th kid.
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