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Who's right?

Posted by on May. 5, 2015 at 7:00 AM
  • 33 Replies

Scenerio: This morning we got to my parents' house as we do every morning during the week.

My father had a treat for the girls and our five year old got all excited, which means fluttering about going from one adult to another with a little too much energy for 5:55AM.

The kitchen is small and my dh was kissing our 18 month old goodbye (my mom was holding her) and he backed up directly into our 5yo. She got knocked into the fridge door.  He turned around and angrily snarled at her for being too wild and crazy.  She started crying, and my mom and I hugged her.  He kissed her, still telling her it was her own fault.

As he was leaving I followed him to the door and told him that yelling at her like that was not ok.  There was no reason to get mad at her for being happy and excited.  Just because he's grouchy in the mornings doesn't mean we're going to walk on eggshells.

He left really annoyed.

When he came back to bring me my phone that I forgot I told him again that I didn't like him getting angry at her for being a kid and acting like a kid.  She wasn't doing anything wrong.  He said he didn't yell at her and he's not going to coddle her all the time.  

I said "ok, so I'll just let her know that your reaction was the correct one and if she bumps into her baby sister she's allowed to turn and around and yell at her for it."

He got pissed again and left again. 

Was I wrong to be annoyed? Was he wrong to get mad at her? Is there a happy medium?


Update: Ok, so clearly I'm the one who was in the wrong.  I did apologize for making it into an issue when i didn't have to and he apologized for yelling at her when he could have just spoken to her.  

And just an FYI, she wasn't running around being crazy.  Her voice was loud and excited, and she was going from my dad to my mom saying thank you.

by on May. 5, 2015 at 7:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on May. 5, 2015 at 7:04 AM
I know I'm cranky in the morning. I'd chalk it up to that and let it go.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 5, 2015 at 7:04 AM
Seriously? Yes it was her her own fault, either way you didn't need to keep bringing it up.
anon10
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2015 at 7:05 AM

But do you take it out on your kids? This isn't our first issue with something like this.

Quoting Danesmommy1: I know I'm cranky in the morning. I'd chalk it up to that and let it go.


JDmommyJD
by the sauce is boss on May. 5, 2015 at 7:05 AM
I think you over reacted. He obviously let it go, and you just keep bringing it up. Good grief.
anon10
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2015 at 7:06 AM

I don't like leaving things unresolved.  This isn't the first time he's yelled at her for something dumb like that.  

Quoting Anonymous 1: Seriously? Yes it was her her own fault, either way you didn't need to keep bringing it up.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 5, 2015 at 7:06 AM
She should learn that acting like that around that many people in a confined space is not ok because someone can get hurt. But he did need to tell to correct her.
rubixcubes
by on May. 5, 2015 at 7:07 AM
I agree. You brought that shit back up; just leave it as is and stop trying to justify anything.

Quoting Danesmommy1: I know I'm cranky in the morning. I'd chalk it up to that and let it go.
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anon10
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2015 at 7:07 AM

No, he doesn't let it go.  He stews and stews and then it'll blow up on us later.  I have to keep bringing things up until he actually stops and talks it out with me.

Quoting JDmommyJD: I think you over reacted. He obviously let it go, and you just keep bringing it up. Good grief.


Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on May. 5, 2015 at 7:08 AM
Sometimes, yeah. Nobody's perfect. I don't do it often, but has it happened? Sure. As long as your DH isn't an asshole all the time, let it go.

Quoting anon10:

But do you take it out on your kids? This isn't our first issue with something like this.

Quoting Danesmommy1: I know I'm cranky in the morning. I'd chalk it up to that and let it go.

rubixcubes
by on May. 5, 2015 at 7:10 AM
So you like to keep drama going?

Quoting anon10:

I don't like leaving things unresolved.  This isn't the first time he's yelled at her for something dumb like that.  

Quoting Anonymous 1: Seriously? Yes it was her her own fault, either way you didn't need to keep bringing it up.

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