• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do unmarried dads have any rights to the custody of their children?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 51 Replies

My SDS is 25 years old with 2 girls under 4. He was in a committed relationship with their mom for six years until recently.  She was a crack baby herself and suffers from mental issues, learning disabilities and was born with 1 kidney.  

A while back his girlfriend and her mom got into a serious argument and the police were called.  The police didn't like the condition or smell in the house and reported the matter to CPS.  They came out and told the mom to clean up, stop letting cats piss everywhere and buy new beds.  She did.  

Three months ago, she checked herself into the hospital because she went off the rails after quitting her meds.She met some guy in there and when released, she went home and threw SS out of the house.  She told him she's in love with this new guy and wants to start a new family with him instead.  The love lasted a week and she called DS and apologized and asked him to come home.  He did for the girls.  

Two weeks after asking him back, she started up with the other guy and through him out again.  He found out from her mother that this guy is the neighborhoods coke dealer and she's doing a lot of it.  He told her he will take the girls until she cleaned up but she refused.  He visits them or brings them over to our home.  

Now last week she found out that she's pregnant.  She's not sure whose baby it is and is still doing coke to the best of our knowledge.  When she has this baby CPS WILL show up at the hospital and most likely take all 3 kids because of the drugs.  

Stepson is not married to her and has no rights to his children.  What should he do?  Can he file for custody of his girls?  He's on their birth certificates.  He's employed, not a drug user and has a valid drivers license with no tickets and has never been arrested.  

We've never encountered problems like this and need some advice.  (We live in Illinois.)


Posted by Anonymous on May. 5, 2015 at 4:16 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Ali5683
by Ruby Member on May. 5, 2015 at 4:18 PM

My sons father and I are not married but have been together for 7 years. He has rights just as much as I do. He's on the birth certificate.

I don't see why your stepson doesn't have rights if he is the biological father. He absolutely has rights. Considering the drugs, he may have to prove himself a lot before getting custody though.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 5, 2015 at 4:19 PM

Yes, he can and should file for custody.  I'm not sure why you are under the assumption that he has no rights, he is their father and therefore has parental rights just like their mother does.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 5, 2015 at 4:20 PM
He needs to document anything & everything & get a lawyer & file for custody. My son was never married to his child's mother and filed for custody & won.
Rebecca7708
by Platinum Member on May. 5, 2015 at 4:20 PM
He absolutely has rights. Unless there is a court order that says otherwise, he has just as much right to those kids as she does. He should file for emergency custody right away.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 5, 2015 at 4:20 PM

 i guess he needs to hire a lawyer. 

nocalmegan
by Ruby Member on May. 5, 2015 at 4:20 PM
Marriage is irrelevant. All he needs is a paternity test.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 5, 2015 at 4:20 PM

Why would he have to prove himself because of the drugs?  The mother is the one doing drugs, not the father.

Quoting Ali5683:

My sons father and I are not married but have been together for 7 years. He has rights just as much as I do. He's on the birth certificate.

I don't see why your stepson doesn't have rights if he is the biological father. He absolutely has rights. Considering the drugs, he may have to prove himself a lot before getting custody though.


cynnie22
by Platinum Member on May. 5, 2015 at 4:21 PM

How can he possibly have no rights to the children?  Did he terminate his rights?  If not, he has every right to take those children out of the house and move them in with him.   He should then file for sole custody of the children.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 5, 2015 at 4:22 PM

We figured he had no rights because they were never married.  And he's not on the drugs, she is.  Why would he be the one to need to prove himself?  

Quoting Ali5683:

My sons father and I are not married but have been together for 7 years. He has rights just as much as I do. He's on the birth certificate.

I don't see why your stepson doesn't have rights if he is the biological father. He absolutely has rights. Considering the drugs, he may have to prove himself a lot before getting custody though.


isell_avon
by ehhhh! on May. 5, 2015 at 4:22 PM
1 mom liked this

It's possible but I'm sure it's very hard. He needs to get a good lawyer.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)