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im sorry honey but you cant see your mom

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies

a month and a half ago my sd was taken away from her mom, her mom purposely overdosed on pills and not only tried killing herself but killed the baby she was 20 weeks pregnant with. they gave dh emergency full custody, and shes been fine since shes been here, until now. shes been asking if shes going to see her mom for mothers day (shes 5) and we've been having to tell her that she cant see her mom for a while. she asks why and we just dont know how to answer her so i just change the subject and ask if shes excited for the beach sunday, or the puppy we're getting saturday, or ds's birthday.....i honestly dont know how to answer the why without putting her mom in a bad light, because i dont want to do that to her, even if a kids mom is bad the child shouldnt hate them at 5 years old kwim?

how would you answer the question? or are dh and i doing fine by changing the subject?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 5, 2015 at 4:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
fairymaid23
by Silver Member on May. 5, 2015 at 4:50 PM
Maybe tell her her mom has a head sickness that made her do some bad things n shes away getting help.
randi1978
by Murdoc's Mistress on May. 5, 2015 at 4:52 PM
2 moms liked this
Just tell her that mom is sick and can't have visitors for a while.
Squat2pee
by on May. 5, 2015 at 4:52 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell her that her mom is sick and she can't see her until she is better. There is no need to burden a child with such problems.
MilkLover0203
by on May. 5, 2015 at 4:53 PM
Being as though I've been through this, I can tell you what I told him. I'm in no way suggesting you do the same, but I hope it helps. Mommy is sick, and she's doing her best to get better, but we have to give her time. In my situation, she lost all rights, so my replies had to be adjusted over time.
Piskie
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2015 at 4:54 PM
She's ill and needs to rest.

Simple. You don't know when she will be better, but the kid can do a drawing and that will help her if they want.

You don't lie, but she needs answers.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 5, 2015 at 4:54 PM

I think if changing the subject is not working or she keeps asking be honest with her.  Tell her mom is sick,  the doctors want her to rest so no visitors allowed.  And that as soon as the doctors say she can have visitors you will tell her. It  may not work but you also would not be lying about her mom or making her look bad either.

chinosruca
by Ruby Member on May. 5, 2015 at 4:55 PM
Tell her mommy is sick and working on getting better.
ranchmama21
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2015 at 4:55 PM
Changing the subject says to her you are ignoring what bothers and matters to her. She is trying to make since of an adult situation in a child's world.

Explain to her that her mom is sick. Similar sick where she needs a doctor's care, but not the kind of sick that she will be well in a few days. That while mommy is getting some doctor's help, she will be spending a lot of time with you all. That even adults do things that are wrong and she is getting help. No need for in depth details beyond that as she won't comprehend adult matters. This can be a good cause to open up to her about her knowledge of medications.

Encourage her to talk about how she feels and how to help her based on her coping.

She needs to see a child psychologist.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 5, 2015 at 4:55 PM

thank you all for the idea

MicheleJM
by on May. 5, 2015 at 4:56 PM
I would probably say right now it's not possible..mom has an illness that affects how she thinks and she had to get better first. Maybe she can make a card for her if the doctor will allow it.
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