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I'm a broken woman. depression /anxiety trigger?

Posted by on May. 5, 2015 at 6:59 PM
  • 13 Replies
socomplex I can't even get all the details in this post. Let me just say we are always broke, no matter when we think we finally took a step up, something else happens to take us two pegs down. I believe my depression wouldn't be as noticeable (for me to notice) if we had more money. Had enough money to pay bills, pay rent or home payment (instead of living at my dad's smoke filled home) and have money left over for kids to do extra curriculars. Also money to save of course. It's hard to work a real, decent paying job (instead I could qualify for one) n work around hubby's schedule n kids school schedule. I can get a crap job easily I suppose but it wouldn't be worth it after gas n daycare for in between me n hubby's shift.
So I'm getting off track. If I had insurance, which I won't til june, my doc would suggest depression medication. But guess what? I have REASON to be depression n anxious, right? So my body n mind r reacting a natural way. So I don't like the idea of taking happy pills. I have before, when I was a teen, but I don't really want to again.
I find myself thinking I wish I could get anorexia or something, because I am looking to lose weight, and at least it's something I could control, if I actually focus on just that. Weird right, who WISHES they could have that problem? It's something I do often, if not anorexia, I wish for a drug addiction or something. Perhaps it cuz I want my problem to be more obvious? I don't know, but I'm tires of living this life, and while not necessarily suicidal (would not do that to my kids), I do know I haven't done anything with my life, and don't forsee doing anything in the future. I'm useless, cept when it comes to cleaning house.

I'm not looking for pity really, I kind of wonder if anyone else here has depression n do you feel it's worse when u r poor?
by on May. 5, 2015 at 6:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 5, 2015 at 7:13 PM
Please get help.
fivekids2220
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2015 at 8:51 PM

I would try a probiotic with lactobaccilus rhamnosus (Seeking Health is one company that does include it), along with a methyl folate supplement (this is the natural form of folic acid, which is synthetic).  I have seen immediate improvement in energy and mood with this.

evelynloree
by on May. 5, 2015 at 9:22 PM
I like the idea of the methylfolate, because once I have insurance, it could b prescribed as deplin, yet it's natural. I can't afford supplements really, n even tho it'll b a stretch as well, it may b cheaper if prescribed. N by then I may have a job. The probiotic u mentioned sounds good too, for losing weight. It is mainly my belly I can't seem to get rid of. I think I must have high cortisol cuz I'm so stressed. Also cuz I've been eating junk, of course :(

Quoting fivekids2220:

I would try a probiotic with lactobaccilus rhamnosus (Seeking Health is one company that does include it), along with a methyl folate supplement (this is the natural form of folic acid, which is synthetic).  I have seen immediate improvement in energy and mood with this.

rubixcubes
by on May. 5, 2015 at 9:23 PM
Let me ask you: if you had more money, would that make you truly happy?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
evelynloree
by on May. 5, 2015 at 9:25 PM
I probably Do need a therapist n I would like one, but we can't afford it, n there r no free or cheap services nearby to help. Also even once we get insurance n it may b covered for 50% we still couldn't afford it AND hubby doesn't like the idea of me needing to talk to a stranger.





Quoting Anonymous 1: Please get help.
evelynloree
by on May. 5, 2015 at 9:31 PM
I'm not saying that would cure my depression, but I'd b less stressed and less likely to sit around in this depressing nasty house. Going for a walk outside is free, but sometimes it makes me feel even worse, the world is so beautiful sometimes n yet I always seem to be in a dismal position in life. Always worrying about bills being paid, feeding our kids. Feeling like a failure because they r in an unhealthy environment because of me. Breathing in all this second hand smoke.
So I think yea, I'd b happier. Also I could afford to look into more natural ways of helping my depression, like eating healthier n perhaps using supplements instead of crap pills. Though I know some supplements out there r crap too, but at least I'd b in a position to try what works for me.

Quoting rubixcubes: Let me ask you: if you had more money, would that make you truly happy?
rubixcubes
by on May. 5, 2015 at 9:32 PM
Changing physical aspects of life won't make you any happier. There's something else that caused you to be depressed.

Think back as far as you possibly can and address it.

Quoting evelynloree: I'm not saying that would cure my depression, but I'd b less stressed and less likely to sit around in this depressing nasty house. Going for a walk outside is free, but sometimes it makes me feel even worse, the world is so beautiful sometimes n yet I always seem to be in a dismal position in life. Always worrying about bills being paid, feeding our kids. Feeling like a failure because they r in an unhealthy environment because of me. Breathing in all this second hand smoke.
So I think yea, I'd b happier. Also I could afford to look into more natural ways of helping my depression, like eating healthier n perhaps using supplements instead of crap pills. Though I know some supplements out there r crap too, but at least I'd b in a position to try what works for me.

Quoting rubixcubes: Let me ask you: if you had more money, would that make you truly happy?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 5, 2015 at 9:37 PM

Of course money issues make depression worse. Have you applied for health care through welfare? Can you find a job to work around your dh's schedule. That's what I do to avoid the cost of daycare but if you do qualify for assistance through welfare they will pay for daycare so you can work. 

evelynloree
by on May. 5, 2015 at 9:37 PM
I've had tons of therapy n know why I'm depressed, but don't like to blame my crap childhood on it STILL. I'm a grown woman and shouldn't still be affected by it. Because honestly, it could have been worse, and anyone else looking at my life (other than a therapist who has told me it's understandable that it still affects me), would say my life wasn't that crappy. Or tell me to suck it up.
So I know why I'm like this, but wish I could get past it already.

Quoting rubixcubes: Changing physical aspects of life won't make you any happier. There's something else that caused you to be depressed.

Think back as far as you possibly can and address it.

Quoting evelynloree: I'm not saying that would cure my depression, but I'd b less stressed and less likely to sit around in this depressing nasty house. Going for a walk outside is free, but sometimes it makes me feel even worse, the world is so beautiful sometimes n yet I always seem to be in a dismal position in life. Always worrying about bills being paid, feeding our kids. Feeling like a failure because they r in an unhealthy environment because of me. Breathing in all this second hand smoke.
So I think yea, I'd b happier. Also I could afford to look into more natural ways of helping my depression, like eating healthier n perhaps using supplements instead of crap pills. Though I know some supplements out there r crap too, but at least I'd b in a position to try what works for me.

Quoting rubixcubes: Let me ask you: if you had more money, would that make you truly happy?
rubixcubes
by on May. 5, 2015 at 9:40 PM
First, don't say you SHOULDN'T anything. That implies that you're abiding by the order of the world. You don't have to. What you're feeling is valid. Perhaps ignoring what happened is playing a huge part in your depression, don't you think?

Quoting evelynloree: I've had tons of therapy n know why I'm depressed, but don't like to blame my crap childhood on it STILL. I'm a grown woman and shouldn't still be affected by it. Because honestly, it could have been worse, and anyone else looking at my life (other than a therapist who has told me it's understandable that it still affects me), would say my life wasn't that crappy. Or tell me to suck it up.
So I know why I'm like this, but wish I could get past it already.

Quoting rubixcubes: Changing physical aspects of life won't make you any happier. There's something else that caused you to be depressed.

Think back as far as you possibly can and address it.

Quoting evelynloree: I'm not saying that would cure my depression, but I'd b less stressed and less likely to sit around in this depressing nasty house. Going for a walk outside is free, but sometimes it makes me feel even worse, the world is so beautiful sometimes n yet I always seem to be in a dismal position in life. Always worrying about bills being paid, feeding our kids. Feeling like a failure because they r in an unhealthy environment because of me. Breathing in all this second hand smoke.
So I think yea, I'd b happier. Also I could afford to look into more natural ways of helping my depression, like eating healthier n perhaps using supplements instead of crap pills. Though I know some supplements out there r crap too, but at least I'd b in a position to try what works for me.

Quoting rubixcubes: Let me ask you: if you had more money, would that make you truly happy?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
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