Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My 16 y/o: "how does sex change a relationship?"

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 27 Replies

My 16 year old DD came to me and told me that she had sex with her boyfriend (they have been together for a while), then asked how sex changes a relationship. She said: "I've heard people say that sex changes a relationship, but I don't see any difference in our relationship now that we've had sex."

I just wanted to get some of you ladies' opinions before being able to fully answer her question.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 5, 2015 at 7:37 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
brimar
by Silver Member on May. 5, 2015 at 7:42 PM
It brings on all new responsibilities, concerns etc about STDs , pregnancy and basically adult worries.

Emotions unfold, some link love and sex...it involves a lot of grown up emotions that some teens may or may not be ready for.
quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on May. 5, 2015 at 7:44 PM
1 mom liked this

once you have sex,thats all you do...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 5, 2015 at 8:11 PM

Yes you're right, but I've never quite understood the whole thing with the emotions, which is why I have trouble answering my daughter's question "correctly."

I always felt the same way towards my partners before and after sex (with DH it was immensely in love, some it was eh, not sure why I'm still in this relationship), and I think my daughter is experiencing the same thing of no shift in emotion towards the person after sex.

Quoting brimar: It brings on all new responsibilities, concerns etc about STDs , pregnancy and basically adult worries. Emotions unfold, some link love and sex...it involves a lot of grown up emotions that some teens may or may not be ready for.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 5, 2015 at 8:11 PM

While somewhat a generalization, can often be pretty accurate and a valid statement.

Quoting quinnsmom715:

once you have sex,thats all you do...


ArmyWife112908
by Mrs.Crane on May. 5, 2015 at 8:13 PM
Some people think that because they have sex there is automatically love involved. Sex does not equal love or commitment. Plus the whole possibility of pregnancy and sti's.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 5, 2015 at 8:15 PM

I believe that sex comes from love (not in all cases, I understand) but love does not come from sex. Just my opinion however.

What's your opinion of two people already love each other and are committed to one another, then have sex? What does it change then?

Quoting ArmyWife112908: Some people think that because they have sex there is automatically love involved. Sex does not equal love or commitment. Plus the whole possibility of pregnancy and sti's.


ArmyWife112908
by Mrs.Crane on May. 5, 2015 at 8:18 PM
Sex doesn't have to come from love but that's not the conversation for your dd. For two people already in love I think it brings the closer together, connects them on a deeper level. I think it can also bring out bad characteristics like jealously and pain if the affection is not returned.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

I believe that sex comes from love (not in all cases, I understand) but love does not come from sex. Just my opinion however.

What's your opinion of two people already love each other and are committed to one another, then have sex? What does it change then?

Quoting ArmyWife112908: Some people think that because they have sex there is automatically love involved. Sex does not equal love or commitment. Plus the whole possibility of pregnancy and sti's.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 5, 2015 at 8:26 PM

Yes I think that's a good point.

As a teenager, I had a boyfriend who always used to comment on how I looked "bored" during sex. Like what? Sorry that I'm not thinking of my facial expressions at every second... I was not bored and did not think I looked like that but apparently I did? Lol, it was very weird.

Quoting ArmyWife112908: Sex doesn't have to come from love but that's not the conversation for your dd. For two people already in love I think it brings the closer together, connects them on a deeper level. I think it can also bring out bad characteristics like jealously and pain if the affection is not returned.
Quoting Anonymous 1:

I believe that sex comes from love (not in all cases, I understand) but love does not come from sex. Just my opinion however.

What's your opinion of two people already love each other and are committed to one another, then have sex? What does it change then?

Quoting ArmyWife112908: Some people think that because they have sex there is automatically love involved. Sex does not equal love or commitment. Plus the whole possibility of pregnancy and sti's.



ArmyWife112908
by Mrs.Crane on May. 5, 2015 at 8:28 PM
See comments like that could cause serious issues later one. It's not necessarily the sex but the commentary around it can be damaging.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Yes I think that's a good point.

As a teenager, I had a boyfriend who always used to comment on how I looked "bored" during sex. Like what? Sorry that I'm not thinking of my facial expressions at every second... I was not bored and did not think I looked like that but apparently I did? Lol, it was very weird.

Quoting ArmyWife112908: Sex doesn't have to come from love but that's not the conversation for your dd. For two people already in love I think it brings the closer together, connects them on a deeper level. I think it can also bring out bad characteristics like jealously and pain if the affection is not returned.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

I believe that sex comes from love (not in all cases, I understand) but love does not come from sex. Just my opinion however.

What's your opinion of two people already love each other and are committed to one another, then have sex? What does it change then?

Quoting ArmyWife112908: Some people think that because they have sex there is automatically love involved. Sex does not equal love or commitment. Plus the whole possibility of pregnancy and sti's.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 5, 2015 at 8:33 PM

Yes especially because sex brings about intimacy that can cause vulnerability, which reveals insecurities and can be very in-the-moment and surprising if they have not been discussed before.

Quoting ArmyWife112908: See comments like that could cause serious issues later one. It's not necessarily the sex but the commentary around it can be damaging.
Quoting Anonymous 1:

Yes I think that's a good point.

As a teenager, I had a boyfriend who always used to comment on how I looked "bored" during sex. Like what? Sorry that I'm not thinking of my facial expressions at every second... I was not bored and did not think I looked like that but apparently I did? Lol, it was very weird.

Quoting ArmyWife112908: Sex doesn't have to come from love but that's not the conversation for your dd. For two people already in love I think it brings the closer together, connects them on a deeper level. I think it can also bring out bad characteristics like jealously and pain if the affection is not returned.
Quoting Anonymous 1:

I believe that sex comes from love (not in all cases, I understand) but love does not come from sex. Just my opinion however.

What's your opinion of two people already love each other and are committed to one another, then have sex? What does it change then?

Quoting ArmyWife112908: Some people think that because they have sex there is automatically love involved. Sex does not equal love or commitment. Plus the whole possibility of pregnancy and sti's.




Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)