Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Which way do you think custody would go in this situation? (be 100 percent honest)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 41 Replies

Teen parents. Mother is 16, father is 18. 


Father is unemployed, makes music videos as an aspiring 'rapper' after quitting his job to 'follow his dreams'. He lives with his ill mother who is possibly losing her house due to inability to work. Father has a documented drug history and signed himself out of a mental hospital AMA 5 days after the child was born. No child support has ever been paid and the mother forbid him from seeing the child when he threatened to take the child over a text message on November 15th. No attempts have been made to see the child since then. Father has no permit or license and no form of reliable transportation. 


Mother got her high school diploma through online classes in January. She has a full time job and the state pays for her daycare so she can work . She takes night classes at a local community college. A license test is scheduled for next month so she relies on her boyfriend and mom to drive her around for now. Mother has a history of depression from 11-13 where she was on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds. She hasn't taken meds in almost 3 years. She lives with her boyfriend and his family, paying $400 a month in rent. 


Who do you think would get custody here? Would it be joint or sole? Do you think the father would receive unsupervised visitation? Overnights?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 7, 2015 at 7:49 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 7, 2015 at 7:51 AM
Ideally, a financially stable and committed couple would have had custody via adoption at birth. Shrug.
twinmommy27
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2015 at 7:52 AM
1 mom liked this
Mother. Visitation with dad..unfortunately. That is if he wanted it.
alexsmomaubrys2
by on May. 7, 2015 at 7:52 AM
It really is all up to the judge. No one can predict how things will go. He will get visitation, that much is certain.

How old is the child?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2015 at 7:54 AM


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2: It really is all up to the judge. No one can predict how things will go. He will get visitation, that much is certain. How old is the child?

8 months. Forgot to add he left a threatening voicemail on the phone on the mother's father, who is a lead detective in the town. 

dizzy91
by Kelly on May. 7, 2015 at 7:54 AM

I imagine the dad would get *some* visitation, but I'd hope the mom would retain sole custody.

But fuck, in my job, I see terrible shit happen constantly. I've seen abusers get unsupervised visitation, because there's no PROOF he beat the kids, just that he beat the mom. I've seen pedophiles get unsupervised visitation, because the person abused someone else's kids, not his own, so the judge decides he's okay to see his kids. 

Depending on the judge, he could get nothing or he could get sole custody. Background doesn't mean much to some judges. Some just pick a side and stick with it.

alexsmomaubrys2
by on May. 7, 2015 at 7:56 AM
And she is already living with a new guy? That isn't going to look good at all.

She will get custody but the judge will probably wonder about the stability she is providing.


Quoting Anonymous 1:

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2: It really is all up to the judge. No one can predict how things will go. He will get visitation, that much is certain.

How old is the child?

8 months. Forgot to add he left a threatening voicemail on the phone on the mother's father, who is a lead detective in the town. 

myluckystars11
by on May. 7, 2015 at 7:57 AM
Depends on the state. In my state it would probably be joint 50/50. Nothing you said is direct harm to the child and that's the standard here. They don't use jobs or if you live with someone (unless it's a felon or something) against you and mothers and father's are seen equal. Ideally in most other states it would probably be joint with dad getting every other weekend, paying child support etc. Depending on the mental issues you could ask for supervised but unless good enough proof as to why it's very hard to get.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2015 at 7:59 AM

She's been with the guy since she was a few months pregnant. Paternity  has already been established. The father doesn't know she lives with the guy, all her mail and legal documents still go to her mother's house. 

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2: And she is already living with a new guy? That isn't going to look good at all. She will get custody but the judge will probably wonder about the stability she is providing.
Quoting Anonymous 1:


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2: It really is all up to the judge. No one can predict how things will go. He will get visitation, that much is certain. How old is the child?

8 months. Forgot to add he left a threatening voicemail on the phone on the mother's father, who is a lead detective in the town. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 7, 2015 at 8:02 AM

BUMP!

alexsmomaubrys2
by on May. 7, 2015 at 8:02 AM
Doesn't matter. It doesn't look good and that is what matters in court, the appearance of stability.

Can she afford her own place? At her age she needs to be on her own or at home with her family. I think it's poor judgment to live with a boyfriend at her age. I hope they are using multiple birth control methods.


Quoting Anonymous 1:

She's been with the guy since she was a few months pregnant. Paternity  has already been established. The father doesn't know she lives with the guy, all her mail and legal documents still go to her mother's house. 

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2: And she is already living with a new guy? That isn't going to look good at all.

She will get custody but the judge will probably wonder about the stability she is providing.


Quoting Anonymous 1:

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2: It really is all up to the judge. No one can predict how things will go. He will get visitation, that much is certain.

How old is the child?

8 months. Forgot to add he left a threatening voicemail on the phone on the mother's father, who is a lead detective in the town. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)