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i finally cut my mother out of my life.

Posted by on May. 7, 2015 at 10:01 AM
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Let me start at the beginning (kind of). My mother has never really been there for me, she has told me since i was 8 years old that if she had to choose between myself or her husband she wouldn't have to think about it i would be gone. She has verbally abused me most of my life and when i was a teenager she started physically hurting me. She has punched me in the face, and thrown things at me multiple times.

Dispite all of this i have always tried to have a relationship with her. I wanted my kids to have her in thier lives, i was hoping that she would be a good grandmother. I felt like i needed to give her a chance.

I finally had enough this Christmas season. I had just had my dd and we were in town visiting, i stopped at my aunts house first because she has always been there for me and she wanted to meet the baby before she went to work. After that i went to my mother's house. On the way i got a call from my aunt. She called to tell me that my mom had called her screaming because she met the baby first. I told my aunt not to worry about it, that i would talk to her. I had told my mom that i planned on stopping at my aunts first on the phone, so i figured she was upset about something else.

When i got to my mothers house she acted like i wasn't even there. She let my kids into the house and pushed the door closed when I tried to walk in. I went in and the only thing she said to me was "what did you bring to cook for dinner?" I told her i didnt know i needed to bring anything and she said "well thats pretty f**ked up, i invited your dad and brother and now they arent going to have anything for dinner." I got my kids together and we went home.

I called my mom and told her i want an apology, and she needed to start treating me with some respect around my kids. My son is 7 and he has started asking me why i let her treat me so badly. After that world war 3 broke out. She sent me text messages for the next few months saying that she hates me and im a bad mom. She called me an ugly bitch more times thani can count. She told me i am a monster who deserves to die alone. She said that she is going to turn my kids against me. She has called me a slut and a whore (i have only been with one person other than my husband) just to name a few things.

So i told her im done, she is no longer allowed to speak to my children and i want nothing to do with her. But im having a hard time with it. I don't feel like im worthy of love. How can you feel like that when the one person who should love you the most doesn't care if you live or die? Its affected my marriage because i feel like he deserves better.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? How did you get past the feelings of being inadequate? I know this shouldnt affect me as much as it does, im a 26 year old woman not a child, but it really gets to me.
by on May. 7, 2015 at 10:01 AM
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